Desperate Housewives: The Breakup - Edition One

"Secrets That I Never Want to Know" and "Making the Connection"

In my opinion, the only reason for this Tom/Lynette breakup is to give the couple new, fresher storylines.  Otherwise, what is the point, right?  With that in mind, I've decided to go through the breakup so far and assess the writers' success at changing things up for this couple.

The premiere started off establishing a multitude of things in direct contradiction with the finale.  Tom and Lynette hadn't told the kids about the separation; despite the fact that they vowed to tell the kids before anyone else, apparently they blabbed the truth to the entire neighborhood; Tom moved to Bree's (correct me if i'm wrong there) instead of to the apartment he claimed was available to him.  Although I could give the writers the benefit of the doubt and believe that this was logical given Lynette's fears, I'm more inclined to believe this was all for the sake was wacky, hilarious hijinks.  And, don't get me wrong, while I loved watching both of them smack their feet off Bree's sprinkler system, it wasn't enough to convince me that the writers were already trying to backtrack from where they left this couple at the end of the previous season.

On top of that, the entire plot was reminiscent of the first couple of episodes of season six.  At the beginning of that season, Lynette was determined to keep her pregnancy a secret, even from the kids.  Tom went along with her somewhat unwillingly.  Of course, it secretly turned out that Lynette was freaking out about the pregnancy, and the premiere ended with Tom shouting some sense into her.  Eventually, they told the kids.  This time around, Lynette was freaking out about telling the kids (and thus giving Tom the chance to actually leave the street), Tom was somewhat unwillingly going along with the plan, and it ended with him yelling some sense into her.  Then they told the kids. 

I pity anyone who didn't see this coming from a mile away.  Even with that unexpected reunion midway through the episode, it was obvious how this one was going to end.

Speaking of, for me, the reunion between the characters was the one moment that really worked in this episode.  Felicity Huffman and Doug Savant acted the hell out of that scene.  It was really lovely to see the characters acting like their old selves, even if it was just for two minutes.  And that kiss was basically out of this world in terms of what we've seen from these characters before.  As they were doing their run of shame the following morning, I couldn't help but think that the thought of them getting off on a secret relationship and sneaking around for the better part of the first season would be a more interesting plot than what was inevitably around the corner.

Actually, despite the slightly repetitive plot, the main failure of this episode for me was how underdeveloped the character motivation was.  Why was Tom suddenly a pleasant, likable human being again, after basically being angry, cold and distant at the end of last season?  Why was Lynette so terrified to let Tom go farther than across the street, and yet when he finally offered to work on their problems, she shut him out?  None of this was clear to me.  It's still not.  Don't get me wrong, I have my theories and rationalizations, but the show has not made it explicitly clear to me where the characters are coming from.

Finally, I was incredibly disappointed that we didn't get to see Tom and Lynette tell the kids about separation.  Even though I was vaguely dreading that moment all summer, it was also the moment with the most potetial for drama and emotional connection; then it didn't happen.  Talk about disappointing.  Still, I walked away from the premiere feeling pleasantly surprised.

I cannot say the same of episode two.

So remember how I said at the beginning of this reflection that this breakup should be taking the characters in new and exciting directions?  "Making the Connection" proved to be the exact opposite of this.  In fact, I'd go so far as to call it "You're Gonna Love Tomorrow Part Two." 

To refresh everyone's memories, the Tom and Lynette plot of the season five premiere revolved around Tom refusing to discipline the teenage twins.  Lynette got pissed, manipulated the situation to try to force Tom to react how she wanted, and it ended with the two of them finally talking like rational adults and agreeing to get on board with how to raise their kids.

Wait...so...take out "teenage twins" and replace with "teenage Parker" and you have the exact same plot of "Making the Connection"!  I kid you not.  Tom refused to play the bad guy with the kids, Lynette tried to call him on his bullshit, and when he responded like a petulant child, she resorted to manipulating him.  Finally, at the end of the episode, they sat down together and worked through this problem like grown-ups.

As if that wasn't bad enough, this plot further grated on my nerves by having this couple basically pinpoint the exact reason they're apart, agree to resolve it, and then NOT GET BACK TOGETHER!  I mean, honestly, the only reason they are apart (at least given what we've seen/been left to infer) is because they are in the middle of one giant power struggle and can't let things go and compromise.  At the end of the episode, they not only acknowledged this, but they agreed to stop doing it!  Why?  Seriously?  For what other reason are they still separated?  How many times are we going to have to watch them realize this before they get back together?

I had read before this season started that Lynette is going to go through big changes this year; that she's going to have to come close to losing everything to realize that she needs to change.  If I'm supposed to be blaming her for this separation, though, I'm not.  Both characters are acting moronically.  It's incredibly frustrating to watch, and if I didn't love Tom and Lynette so much, they'd be annoying the hell out of me.  My sister, who always liked the characters, but didn't ever feel the emotional connection I did, can't stand them right now.  On the other hand, I am too busy blaming the writers for this mess to let myself hate these characters; I refuse to just because we're in the midst of this incredibly frustrating plot.

And incredibly frustrating is the only way I can describe it so far.  We haven't learned anything new about the characters yet.  The character motivation is basically nonexistant.  The characters have already acknowledged the root of the problem, but I'm sure we'll have to watch them realize that another ten times.  Given what we've seen thus far, I'm not looking forward to going much further into this season. 

I'm still holding out hope that this plot will be resolved by the winter hiatus.  Aside from the mystery arc each season, this show notoriously does not drag out plots.  By episode ten, I feel that there are basically three options for where the characters will be: 1) they'll be reunited/close to it; 2) they'll agree to call it quits for good; or 3) Tom will be killed off in some tragic accident (hey, it is the last season).  Given that it's the final season, I suppose it could go in any direction, but I still have enough faith in this show to believe these characters will reunite.  Deep down, I have the hunch that all four women are going to get a happy ending.

Episode Ratings (based solely on Tom/Lynette):

"Secrets That I Never Want To Know" - B
"Making the Connection" - D-