A Brief History

So despite what you all may think, my (unhealthy?) love of television extends back much further than Desperate Housewives.  And as I was lying in bed last night thinking about how I should really post an update about how I've been dealing with quitting DH cold turkey, my mind instead started to drift through the myriad of obsessions I've had over the years.  And then because it was 3am and I was half-asleep, I thought that it would be a splendid idea to actually write about it, and somehow twelve hours later, even now that I have been awake and functioning like a rational adult for hours, it still seems like a good idea.  So here we are.

A brief history...

Obsession One: Sesame Street

I have great parents.  My wonderful mother stayed home with me as a child and gave me attention and read books to me and did lots of other wonderful, stimulating activities.  And one of those things was to let me watch Sesame Street.  Maybe it was a mistake.  Maybe if I had never seen Sesame Street, I would have grown up to be one of those people who watches whatever happens to be on when I have time to pick up the remote.  I'll honestly never know.

How obsessed could a child be with Sesame Street, I'm sure you're asking yourself.  For me it was a habit ingrained into my everyday routine.  As in, every day I would wake up in the morning, stumble into my parents' bedroom, turn on the TV and watch Sesame Street.  And then I'd watch the same episode again at noon.  And then again when it came on in the afternoon.  I was like a robot programmed to know when Cookie Monster would be appearing on my television; I had to watch.

And then, of course, came the infamous Christmas Eve on Sesame Street incident, which my mother still tells with some strange form of affection every year.  When I was three (three!), my parents sat down and watched Christmas Eve on Sesame Street with me.  Of course, as soon as it ended, I demanded to see it again (yes, even at three, I was a compulsive re-watcher).  As it was the late 80s, though, we didn't even have a VCR yet, and my poor mother was forced to tell me that I couldn't watch again.  This resulted in me sobbing uncontrollably at my parents' inability to let me see Big Bird any time I wanted (and probably unconsciously motivated them to let me have full access to the VCR and blank tapes later in life).  I was crushed.  My parents should have realized then that TV was going to play a big role in my life.

Obsession Two: The Care Bears

Three years after the disaster with Sesame Street, my new passion was watching The Care Bears.  I watched it every day before I went off to kindergarten.  I even had several stuffed animal Care Bears, and I forced my dad to play Care Bears with me on a regular basis.  The entire game revolved around me being in "Care-a-Lot" (aka the top bunk of mine and my brother's bunk beds) while my dad had to live in dreary NoHeart's Castle (the bottom bunk) and try to snatch my Care Bears as I dangled them about like helpless bait.  The hero, Swiftheart Rabbit (my favorite Care Bear, who I still have to this day), was never able to be caught due to her swift prowess, and thus it was always up to her to rescue the others.  She never failed.

Clearly I had already begun incorporating TV into my real life.

Anyway, the show.  One morning, I sat down to breakfast, ready to enjoy another half an hour of adventures when, to my horror, The Care Bears didn't come on.  Anxiously, I called for my mother, desperate for her to explain this unacceptable change in my daily routine.  "Fix it!" I demanded.  "Make them put it on!" 

Unfortunately, that day I learned my first lesson in the uncontrollable nature of television programming schedules.  It turned out that The Care Bears was cancelled (or at least taken off the air--it was probably well into reruns at that point).  My feeble, six-year-old mind couldn't handle this information, and I was reduced to tears.  Again. 

For the second time in my life, TV had garnered a disproportionate, emotional reaction from me.

Obsession Three: Tiny Toon Adventures

My Tiny Toons obsession began when I was about ten or eleven, although I had been watching the show regularly for years.  I don't know what changed, but suddenly I was waking up early on Saturday just to see the reruns on Nick.  I watched How I Spent My Summer Vacation so many times that I could recite it line-by-line.  And I did.  Sometimes when my brother would camp out on my bedroom floor (we had our own rooms by then), I would lie there reciting the movie to him until he fell asleep.  When we went to the movie rental store, I would pick out old episodes of Tiny Toons instead of something new, despite the fact that it was constantly on TV.  I was obsessed.

I don't have any particular memory of how this obsession died out.  Entering my tween years, it must have naturally petered out.  It was nothing as dramatic or life-altering as the Care Bears tragedy, and I think the truth is that I probably just outgrew the show.

Especially considering that my next obsession was The X-FIles.

Obsession Four: The X-Files

I discovered The X-Files when I was thirteen.  My parents were away for the weekend, my cousin was babysitting, and a rerun came on late that Friday night.  I watched, enraptured.  I couldn't get enough.  I had to have more.

I began watching reruns whenever I had the chance.  After school, before bed, on weekends.  I would tape them on days I had things going on and couldn't be home to watch.  I flipped through the TV Guide, figuring out which episodes were on when, if I had seen the episode or not, if it would be one I'd like.  I started to keep track of every episode in a notebook, rating whether or not I liked it and why, and even assigning it a grade.  At one point, I could list every episode title in order, a feat my brother admired as much as he thought I was insane.  It was beyond any other obsession I had had previously.

I was in eighth grade when this started.  Middle school was nothing you could pay me to experience again, so like any miserable little girl, I used The X-Files as a coping method.  I would sit in Spanish class, trying to figure out how many hours it was until the new episode on Sunday night.  I would reimagine scenes in my head, using it as a way to kill time whenever I was bored in school.  Describing it this way sounds somewhat pathetic, but I think obsessing over this show was my first foray into real analytical thinking.  I was dissecting and interpreting The X-Files long before To Kill a Mockingbird came along.  Fortunately, I can say that things got much better once I was in high school, but this new trick was already ingrained in me: TV can still be entertaining even when you're not actually watching it.

The X-Files was also the first show that introduced my to fanfiction.  I had a blessed half hour home alone every day now that I was in middle school.  I'd rush to our computer, wait fifteen minutes for the dial-up to connect, and then spend my last fifteen minutes perusing the wide world of stories I had discovered on the internet.  I was the first time I realized I wasn't alone.  Other people loved this show too.  Other people tried to make the experience last longer than one hour a week.

I was hooked.

The X-Files obsession lasted until my junior year of high school.  I stuck with the show through season eight, and then quit after the season nine premiere.  By then the show had shifted focus from the main characters (David Duchovny wasn't even on the show anymore), and I found my interest waning as well.  I did tune in for the last episode, of course.  I still remember getting home that night (I'd had a banquet at school), popping in my tape into the VCR and lying on the living room floor to join Mulder and Scully on one last adventure.  It was surprisingly satisfying.

Since then, my obsession has subsided.  Occasionally, I still read X-Files fic (although I have never written one).  I own all nine seasons on DVD (a Christmas present one year).  I went to see the new movie when it came out a couple of summers ago.  And I still get a warm, fuzzy feeling whenever I watch an episode--nostalgia.  It was my first grown-up TV obsession.

Obsession Five: Charmed

I discovered Charmed while in the hospital recovering from surgery after my senior year of high school.  There were reruns on TNT about five times a day, and since there was nothing else to do but lie in a bed all day, I watched.  I can honestly say, it was love at first sight.  The show resonated with me the same way The X-Files did; I was hooked.

Things started off in the same way: me collecting and noting random pieces of information (on my computer now); still dissecting and analyzing the show far beyond what a normal viewer would; discovering fan sites that I checked on a daily basis for updates.  Charmed was different than The X-Files in some ways, though.  For one thing, my sister got into it too, so I finally had someone's ear to talk off.  For another, I really made my first foray into the world of fanfiction.

I had dabbled in a few fanfics before, but they'd been mostly ways to kill the time or fill some hole I'd noted in a book or movie.  I initially approached Charmed fanfic as a reader, but quickly discovered that the stories out there were not what I wanted to read.  It felt like I didn't have a choice: if the internet wasn't going to provide what I wanted, then I'd have to do it myself.  In my spare time, I began dabbling in writing fic for the Charmed universe.  My first year college roommate wrote fanfic as well, and suddenly a habit I had been keeping secret for so long didn't seem quite so horrifying.  I enjoyed it.  It challenged me in a lot of ways, and it was a lot of fun.

Eventually, I joined a sorority.  Our meetings were on Sunday nights, and I was back to popping in a tape and rushing home to watch after we were done.  I stuck with Charmed all the way to the bitter end.  It was my first experience with a show breaking up my favorite couple; my first experience with long, drawn out separations; my first experience rationalizing characters and their motivations (when they seeminingly had none).  In retrospect, it was good prep for Desperate Housewives.

My love of Charmed lasted beyond the end of the show.  In fact, it didn't dim until Desperate Housewives came into my life in a blaze of glory.

Obsession Six: Desperate Housewives

So here we are: the present.  Like my other great TV obsessions, this one began when I inadvertantly caught a rerun and was instantly hooked.  Unlike previous occasions, though, this time I had the power of DVDs: I went out and rented the first four seasons and watched them in a matter of two weeks.  By the time the fifth season started back up (this was during the spring hiatus), I was completely caught up and had probably watched every episode two or three times. 

Again, I was obsessed.

And now, almost three years later, I'm slowly weening myself off of the show.  In some ways, it feels like The Care Bears all over again (circumstances beyond my control).  I'm still writing fanfic because I enjoy it even if I no longer enjoy the show.  And yes, secretly I'm still hoping that Tom and Lynette will resolve their problems, and I can see this show out in its last season. 

But the truth is that I know there will probably be a new show on the horizon...There always is.

Interesting Fact: All three of my favorite shows (The X-Files, Charmed and Desperate Housewives) air(ed) their new episodes on Sunday (at least by the time I started watching).  Thus, Sunday night has been probably my favorite night of the week since about 1997.

Coming up soon..."How I Quit Desperate Housewives (In Ten Easy Steps)"  Well, there might not be ten, but it just sounds so nice...

Desperate Housewives: The Breakup - Edition One

"Secrets That I Never Want to Know" and "Making the Connection"

In my opinion, the only reason for this Tom/Lynette breakup is to give the couple new, fresher storylines.  Otherwise, what is the point, right?  With that in mind, I've decided to go through the breakup so far and assess the writers' success at changing things up for this couple.

The premiere started off establishing a multitude of things in direct contradiction with the finale.  Tom and Lynette hadn't told the kids about the separation; despite the fact that they vowed to tell the kids before anyone else, apparently they blabbed the truth to the entire neighborhood; Tom moved to Bree's (correct me if i'm wrong there) instead of to the apartment he claimed was available to him.  Although I could give the writers the benefit of the doubt and believe that this was logical given Lynette's fears, I'm more inclined to believe this was all for the sake was wacky, hilarious hijinks.  And, don't get me wrong, while I loved watching both of them smack their feet off Bree's sprinkler system, it wasn't enough to convince me that the writers were already trying to backtrack from where they left this couple at the end of the previous season.

On top of that, the entire plot was reminiscent of the first couple of episodes of season six.  At the beginning of that season, Lynette was determined to keep her pregnancy a secret, even from the kids.  Tom went along with her somewhat unwillingly.  Of course, it secretly turned out that Lynette was freaking out about the pregnancy, and the premiere ended with Tom shouting some sense into her.  Eventually, they told the kids.  This time around, Lynette was freaking out about telling the kids (and thus giving Tom the chance to actually leave the street), Tom was somewhat unwillingly going along with the plan, and it ended with him yelling some sense into her.  Then they told the kids. 

I pity anyone who didn't see this coming from a mile away.  Even with that unexpected reunion midway through the episode, it was obvious how this one was going to end.

Speaking of, for me, the reunion between the characters was the one moment that really worked in this episode.  Felicity Huffman and Doug Savant acted the hell out of that scene.  It was really lovely to see the characters acting like their old selves, even if it was just for two minutes.  And that kiss was basically out of this world in terms of what we've seen from these characters before.  As they were doing their run of shame the following morning, I couldn't help but think that the thought of them getting off on a secret relationship and sneaking around for the better part of the first season would be a more interesting plot than what was inevitably around the corner.

Actually, despite the slightly repetitive plot, the main failure of this episode for me was how underdeveloped the character motivation was.  Why was Tom suddenly a pleasant, likable human being again, after basically being angry, cold and distant at the end of last season?  Why was Lynette so terrified to let Tom go farther than across the street, and yet when he finally offered to work on their problems, she shut him out?  None of this was clear to me.  It's still not.  Don't get me wrong, I have my theories and rationalizations, but the show has not made it explicitly clear to me where the characters are coming from.

Finally, I was incredibly disappointed that we didn't get to see Tom and Lynette tell the kids about separation.  Even though I was vaguely dreading that moment all summer, it was also the moment with the most potetial for drama and emotional connection; then it didn't happen.  Talk about disappointing.  Still, I walked away from the premiere feeling pleasantly surprised.

I cannot say the same of episode two.

So remember how I said at the beginning of this reflection that this breakup should be taking the characters in new and exciting directions?  "Making the Connection" proved to be the exact opposite of this.  In fact, I'd go so far as to call it "You're Gonna Love Tomorrow Part Two." 

To refresh everyone's memories, the Tom and Lynette plot of the season five premiere revolved around Tom refusing to discipline the teenage twins.  Lynette got pissed, manipulated the situation to try to force Tom to react how she wanted, and it ended with the two of them finally talking like rational adults and agreeing to get on board with how to raise their kids.

Wait...so...take out "teenage twins" and replace with "teenage Parker" and you have the exact same plot of "Making the Connection"!  I kid you not.  Tom refused to play the bad guy with the kids, Lynette tried to call him on his bullshit, and when he responded like a petulant child, she resorted to manipulating him.  Finally, at the end of the episode, they sat down together and worked through this problem like grown-ups.

As if that wasn't bad enough, this plot further grated on my nerves by having this couple basically pinpoint the exact reason they're apart, agree to resolve it, and then NOT GET BACK TOGETHER!  I mean, honestly, the only reason they are apart (at least given what we've seen/been left to infer) is because they are in the middle of one giant power struggle and can't let things go and compromise.  At the end of the episode, they not only acknowledged this, but they agreed to stop doing it!  Why?  Seriously?  For what other reason are they still separated?  How many times are we going to have to watch them realize this before they get back together?

I had read before this season started that Lynette is going to go through big changes this year; that she's going to have to come close to losing everything to realize that she needs to change.  If I'm supposed to be blaming her for this separation, though, I'm not.  Both characters are acting moronically.  It's incredibly frustrating to watch, and if I didn't love Tom and Lynette so much, they'd be annoying the hell out of me.  My sister, who always liked the characters, but didn't ever feel the emotional connection I did, can't stand them right now.  On the other hand, I am too busy blaming the writers for this mess to let myself hate these characters; I refuse to just because we're in the midst of this incredibly frustrating plot.

And incredibly frustrating is the only way I can describe it so far.  We haven't learned anything new about the characters yet.  The character motivation is basically nonexistant.  The characters have already acknowledged the root of the problem, but I'm sure we'll have to watch them realize that another ten times.  Given what we've seen thus far, I'm not looking forward to going much further into this season. 

I'm still holding out hope that this plot will be resolved by the winter hiatus.  Aside from the mystery arc each season, this show notoriously does not drag out plots.  By episode ten, I feel that there are basically three options for where the characters will be: 1) they'll be reunited/close to it; 2) they'll agree to call it quits for good; or 3) Tom will be killed off in some tragic accident (hey, it is the last season).  Given that it's the final season, I suppose it could go in any direction, but I still have enough faith in this show to believe these characters will reunite.  Deep down, I have the hunch that all four women are going to get a happy ending.

Episode Ratings (based solely on Tom/Lynette):

"Secrets That I Never Want To Know" - B
"Making the Connection" - D-

TV Breakups

"You're never going to satisfy everybody all the time. The best chance you have to satisfy most of the people most of the time is to be true to the characters, make them consistent and then try to show people who were invested with something that you're messing with that you understand that they are invested in it, and you are too, and you have a plan, and if someday they stick with the show, they'll be happy. That's the idea." - Mike Schur, co-creator of Parks and Recreation

Since May, the TV Powers That Be (PTB) have broken up three of my favorite couples on television.  On Desperate Housewives, it was Tom and Lynette.  On Pretty Little Liars, it was Spencer and Toby.  And just last week, Parks and Recreation broke up Ben and Leslie.  As you can imagine, this has left me slightly downtrodden, devoid of any couple to really root for and love.  However, I've also become slightly numb to the situation.  Perhaps for the first time since Tom and Lynette separated, I am actually able to look at these breakups objectively and analyze them like a rational human being.  So that's exactly what I plan to do.

The Circumstances
 
Desperate Housewives
 
Tom and Lynette's breakup was the messiest of the bunch.  After pushing Tom into a new job, Lynette seemingly couldn't stand his sudden burst of self-confidence, his bragging, and his newfound control issues.  On the other side, Tom found himself fed up with Lynette's inability to compromise or relinquish power.  This led to many screaming matches that were never resolved.  Eventually the two went away on a trip to try to work out their problems, but spent the entire weekend sniping at each other and, for Tom's part, being moody and sulky.  When they got home, they decided the best thing would be to separate to work on their problems.
 
Pretty Little Liars
 
After seemingly abducting the girls' therapist, "A" threatened to kill the doctor unless the girls did exactly as she said.  For Spencer, this was a demand to keep Toby safe.  Given that Toby's breaks were mysteriously tampered with earlier in the episode, Spencer immediately assumed that "A" was behind this, and that the only way she could keep him safe was to break up with him.  This led to a heartbreaking scene where Spencer dumped Toby with little to no explanation, leaving him confused and upset and her an inconsolable mess.
 
Parks and Recreation
 
Leslie was approached about running for city council, her dream for years, and knew immediately that this meant breaking up with Ben, who she'd been secretly dating for weeks.  The scandal of dating her boss would have ended her campaign before it started, so Leslie felt she had no choice.  After several failed attempts to dump Ben, he ended up doing the deed: he had figured out that Leslie planned to run for office and, knowing what it meant to her, let her go so she could fulfill her dream.


My Interpretation


As Mike Schur said about Ben and Leslie's breakup: "...our approach to Leslie and Ben was that we were going to try as much as we could to let the characters dictate their actions. We didn't want them to do anything that seemed too forced, or we were doing it because it was convenient to us...when it's just two people, and they're about to make out with each other, and then the doorbell rings and there's a telegram and one of them just inherited 50 million from a rich uncle and they have to go collect the will and that keeps them apart for 2 years... it has nothing to do with who the characters are. It's less effective to me than when things are emerging out of deeper circumstances or out of the characters themselves."

For me, this quotation sums up the most honest television breakups. For a breakup to be believable, for the audience to be on board with that breakup and support it (or at the very least, understand it), the character motivation has to be clear. Ultimately, the root of the breakup has to come from some place that the audience clearly understands.


Ultimately, this is what made Leslie and Ben the most believable breakup.  It was clear from the first episode that holding a political office had always been Leslie's dream.  For her to give that up for anyone would be unthinkable for her character.  The fact that Ben knew this as well only added to the poignancy of the moment: he cared about her enough to let her go.  Even as I was watching this unfold, I found myself at peace with the decision.  There was no turmoil, just an appreciation of how intelligently this was written.


To the other extreme, Toby and Spencer's breakup was rooted entirely in circumstances beyond their control.  In a classic soap move, a combination of blackmail and martyr complex led to their breakup and left one character completely in the dark about what was really happening.  Even though it was believable that Spencer would do this, the breakup still seemed a bit out of left field.  After all, it only took one accident to convince Spencer that Toby's life was in danger; I think that if the writers had taken the time to build up the apparent danger over several episodes, Spencer's fears would have been more meaningful and understandable.  As it was, there wasn't even a clear indication that "A" messed with Toby's breaks.

To some extent, I feel that this was an example of the writers deciding that Spencer and Toby should break up and then working backward.  However, since the heart of this show is a murder mystery, blackmail comes with the territory.  It was only a matter of time before "A" somehow messed with Toby and Spencer.  That is the crux of Pretty Little Liars; no one is happy for long.  For that reason, this couple's breakup was understandable, even if I didn't entirely agree with it.

For me, the most unbelievable breakup was Tom and Lynette.  There is no doubt in my mind that this breakup did not grow organically; the writers decided to break up this couple and then contrived circumstances to rip them apart.  As a result, the reasons for the breakup were not only inconsistent, but also sloppily explained.  Not once did the show give a reason for Lynette's immediate 180 about Tom's new job.  Most of the things Tom accused Lynette of had little basis in what we knew of the character and her relationship with her husband.  And there was no indication of why this was the straw that broke the camel's back.  I have heard people say that this "just happens"; that one day couples can just tire of one another and their issues.  However true that may be in reality, I find that it makes for poor television.  Character motivation is too important to leave up to the viewers' vague interpretations.  If nothing else, that at least should be clear.  In this case, it never was explicit.

When I first watched the Tom and Lynette breakup back in May, I contributed most of my anger and frustration to the fact that I truly love this couple.  Despite what I may have thought of how the writers handled the situation, I still thought that it was mostly my bias: I could not look at this couple in a calm, rational way.

Ben and Leslie really became my replacement couple for Tom and Lynette toward the end of the season.  The more Tom and Lynette fought, the more I needed an outlet in a new couple; as a result, I became almost as obsessed with Ben and Leslie.  I spent the summer fearing that they would break up as well, leaving me with nothing to look forward to in the new television season (a fact only compounded when Toby and Spencer broke up, something I did not see coming from a mile away).  I approached last Thursday night with a reluctance and a twinge of dread.

You can imagine how surprised I was to find that despite my tears, I almost celebrated the Leslie/Ben breakup for how beautiful and poignant it was.  There was no confusion; I wasn't left questioning why this happened or overanalyzing the decision.  And it was in that moment that I realized the true heart of the problem on Desperate Housewives was not my bias.  In fact, had Tom and Lynette's breakup been written with anywhere near the grace and intelligence of Ben and Leslie's, I might have actually be rooting it on. 

Ultimately, the writing sells the breakup.

In closing, I'd like to end with one last quote from Mike Schur.  One that I think accentuates the difference between great television writing and sloppy television writing.

Question: So you were never just trying to break them [Ben and Leslie] up.  

Answer: "No. Greg's [Daniels, creator of The Office] thing on The Office, which I give him total credit for, was once Jim and Pam got together, he was like, "Why would they ever break up? It doesn't make sense. They're soulmates." What are you gonna do, have another woman come in? You've just watched Jim pine for Pam for years, and Pam's had this sudden realization that she's loved Jim forever, and it would be crazy to have Jim's ex from high school turn up, and suddenly Pam's jealous. It happened on our show, too. We married off Andy and April, which was our will-they-or-won't-they couple for a while, and the only reason I felt comfortable with that because we were replacing them with Leslie and Ben. You need those kinds of long-term relationships to give people something to root for, as they say. And in no way, shape or form was I thinking, "Oh, now we have to break up Leslie and Ben," because I've seen happy relationships work very well on lots of other shows. But in this case, a logical place for them to run into a bit of trouble was this storyline we wanted to do, so we took advantage of it."


And there you have it.  Happy relationships can work.  And ultimately, that is my hope for all three of these couples some day.

Premiere Week: Day Two

New Girl

I had read so many good things about this show, and I'm happy to say that the premiere far exceeded the hype.  I was laughing out loud the entire time, and I already have an emotional connection to some of the characters.  I'm going to call right now that this will be my favorite new show of the season.

So the basic premise of the show is that Jess catches her boyfriend cheating on her, and ends up moving with three guys looking for a roommate.  They take her in mostly because Schmidt finds out her best friend is a model (which sounds kind of gross, but in reality Schmidt is actually pretty endearing).  After seeing Jess cry while watching Dirty Dancing in an incessant marathon format, the boys take her out so she can find a rebound hookup.  She does, but the guy turns out to be a jerk and stands her up, at which point the guys meet up with her and seranade her with one of the best versions of "I've Had the Time of My Life" I've ever heard.

What really makes this pilot wonderful are all of the little moments.  For me, Jess' quirky behaviors--bursting into song at random times, dancing incredibly goofily, and spouting ridiculous pickup lines--made me instantly love her character.  The fact that she is a bit of a dork, and perfectly okay with it, is refreshing.  And maybe it hits home with me because sometimes I will break out in incredibly lame dance moves while in the hallway at school (my students have caught me and laughed), but seeing a character that also isn't afraid to be a little out there is fun for me.

As far as the guys go, all three are great.  Coach made me laugh (he had a line about not being able to take an interest in jeggings that slayed me); Schmidt was strangely adorable despite his douchebag tendencies; and Nick was honestly sweet, attempting throughout the episode to deal with his breakup with a long term girlfriend.  I have as much interest in the male characters as the female lead, which is wonderful.

Finally, the little things in this show really added up.  The douchebag jar (like a swear jar) was one of the most amazing things I've seen in a long time.  I love that.  Dirty Dancing references (as I discussed last night) make my day.  And the guys absolutely butchering "I've Had the Time of My Life" was brilliant.  If you like off-beat, quirky shows, this one is definitely for you.  I already can't wait to see the next episode.

Grade: A+

Parenthood

This technically premiered last week, so this is already episode two.  But since it's fresh in my mind, this is the one I'll break down.  For my own sanity, I'm going to break it down by plot.

Max Starts Mainstream School

This was incredibly well done.  I don't know if people realize how good Max Burkholder is at playing an austitic child, but I'd really like to give him some props.  I've had autistic students, and he is fantastic at portraying the mannerisms and behaviors of a kid with asbergers.  Tonight was no exception.  The first scene in class was brilliant.  I loved his attempts to make friends (with unfortunately little success).  The end, when Jabbar and his buddies came to ask Max for advice, was heartwarming.  It was wonderful to see someone appreciate, even admire, Max for who he is.

Along with that, the show looked at Kristina's frustrations as a mother.  I constantly find Kristina's struggles with these issues to be compelling.  There is something about her borderline desperation to see her kids succeed that I love; it's heartbreaking, but at the same time endearing; it's so obvious how much she loves her kids.  I liked that the teacher pointed out that Kristina is going to have to let go of some control.  That should be an interesting arc for her character to take this season (and I can only imagine it will be to varying success).

Legal Woes

Wow.  I cannot remember the name of Haddie's boyfriend.  My sister and I still refer to him as Vince (the name of his character on Friday Night Lights).  So I guess that's what I'll continue to call him here.  I don't have much to say about this, honestly.  Haddie is one of my least favorite characters; I often find her shallow.  Then I remember that she's a teenage girl, and I try to cut her some slack.  Tonight was a great example of that.  All through the episode, I was frustrated with Haddie's lack of understanding of the seriousness of Vince's legal situation.  It wasn't until the very end, when Vince confessed that he'd be lost without her, that I was struck by what a big burden that is on the shoulders of a seventeen-year-old.  But that's part of why I love this show; it can turn your perceptions of things in an instant.

Ha!  Alex!  I knew if I thought about it long enough his name would come to me.

Sarah and Mr. Cyr

I love Sarah.  I love Mr. Cyr.  I love them together.  Is that specific enough?

The bedroom scene where he hid from her father was amazing.

The end of the episode, when Sarah's true reason for her reluctance to date him came out (Amber and her feelings about the situation), was brilliant.  Granted, I often find Amber and Sarah's scenes to be some of the most interesting (and nine times out of ten they're the ones that make me cry).  I'm glad that this wasn't treated overly dramtically either.  Amber had a crush on him two years ago.  It's appropriate and logical that she would be over it, and I'm glad they're not trying to drag out a plot point that has long since passed its expiration date.  Other shows could take a lesson from that.  IT IS OKAY TO LET YOUR CHARACTERS GROW!

(Whoops, my bitterness is showing.)

Julia and the Coffee Girl

Confession: Julia is my favorite character.  I wish she got more screen time.  I think she and Joel are adorable, and they're one of my favorite married couples on TV right now.  And if you haven't watched this show, here is one of the reasons why I love them: Joel knows Julia so well.  His ability to see through her translucent ruse was amazing; he knew that she was going to ask the coffee girl about adopting her baby, and of course he was right.  I also love how they balance one another, Joel a calming force to Julia's impulsivity and passion.

Anyway, even though it was obvious that Julia was going to break down and ask about the baby, it was still horrible how callous the girl's "no" was.  Of all the moments tonight, that one hit me the hardest. 

Adam and Crosby's Business Venture

I don't have much to say about this.  They amused me.  I'm glad they're going to be working together.  I hope that Adam doesn't act like too much of a jerk.

Overall, this was a good episode.  It didn't make my cry (last week did), but it was still really enjoyable.

Grade: B+

Well, that's it for tonight.  I wimped out on Glee, mostly watching it in mute and turning on the sound for the musical numbers.  If I'm honest, that's the part of the show I like best anyway.  The rest is a jumbled mess of some of the worst character motivation and development I've ever seen.  *Sigh*

Tune in tomorrow for Up All Night and Modern Family.

Premiere Week: Day One

I thought I'd take some time this week to share my thoughts about the various shows I watch.  Believe it or not, I do watch more than Desperate Housewives; of course, with the exception of Parks and Rec (I have watched every episode of that at least twenty times now), nothing comes close to touching that obsession.  But the truth is that I love TV--it's as simple as that.

So here we go.

How I Met Your Mother

I don't think I did more than faintly smile during either of tonight's episodes, which isn't exactly a ringing endoresement for a comedy.  This show, for me, has been hit or miss with the comedy for the past few seasons.  The only truly hilarious moment I remember last year was the episode where they were racing through NYC, and that was mostly because of the genius that was Marshall Vs. The Machine.  However, I think the show does those big, emotional moments really well.  Last year, I absolutely bawled during the episode with Marshall's father's funeral.  (Of course, if I'm honest, I cry very easily; I'm pretty sure I cry weekly at Parenthood, but that's another story.)  Anyway, for me tonight, the comedy wasn't the most enjoyable part of the show.

So, the big moments for me.  The funniest part (the part I smiled the broadest at) was the montage of Ted crying while giving toasts.  I hope that the show continues its trend and actually creates those videos.

I was oddly mesmerized by Barney and Robin's dance scene.  I remember Neil Patrick Harris mentioning that he was going to be dancing  on the show when he guest judged on So You Think You Can Dance, and it exceeded my wildest expectations.  I probably could have watched an entire episode of them dancing, especially with the subtle Dirty Dancing references.  They harkened back not only to an awesome movie, but also to Barney's amazing claim that he lost his virginity at Kellerman's.  Excellent scene.

The other huge moment for me was the return of Victoria!  I actually cheered (out loud; luckily no one was around to mock me).  After a string of obnoxious girlfriends for Ted, climaxing with the horrible Zoey, I am so excited to see her back!  Of course, that just leaves me with a string of hopes: hope that she sticks around for awhile; hope that Ted doesn't ruin the relationship again; hope that, somehow (it would be a miracle), she is actually the mother.  Regardless, though, what a breath of fresh air in this aging show.

Unfortunately, other than that, I didn't find too much to get excited about in either episode.  I was disappointed by the fact that Lily really had very little too do.  She is one of my favorite characters, and I hope this isn't indicative of how the pregnancy arc will go.  It seemed redudant to have Marshall get plastered in both episodes, especially as it wasn't particularly humorous.  And Martin Short is already wearing on my nerves.

As for the resurrection of Barney/Robin, I have mixed feelings.  I was a huge fan of this pairing back in the day.  Until they actually got together, and it was a trainwreck.  The only way I would be okay with this is if they truly are going to let Barney finally grow up.  (Also: it's about time; his schtick is really growing thin.)  Even then, Robin...Nora...I don't particularly care who he marries.  And indifference is probably the worst emotion to invoke.

So overall, I'd say B-.

That's it for Monday.  I'm watching the premiere of 2 Broke Girls right now.  To give a two sentence review: it seems pretty witty, but I'm not laughing out loud.  If they move it to right after HIMYM I'll probably continue watching, but if it remains after the abominable Two and a Half Men, there's a good chance I'm done.

Well, that's my lightest night of viewing.  Tune back in tomorrow for New Girl, Parenthood and possibly my return to Glee.

Some Really Random Thoughts...

1) Amy Poehler/Parks and Rec were robbed at the Emmys tonight.  And I say this as someone who is a fan of Modern Family as well.

2) As much as the whole Tom/Lynette breakup kills me,  I think that this whole body coverup plot really irks me even more.  It feels like jump the shark material to me (although who knows; maybe it will be the best plot ever).  And...

3) Add to that that Tom and Lynette ARE broken up and (spoiler) it looks less and less likely that they're actually going to separate to work on their problems, and you're looking at the first season I'm really not looking forward to.


4) Although this body coverup seems beyond stupid to me, I wonder if I would be more enthused if it had been Tom/Lynette-centric instead of Gaby/Carlos.  Especially since part of what bothers me is that they had kind of resolved the whole Alejandro thing earlier in the season.  Bringing it back again at the end seemed ridiculous.  And I've been thinking lately that they could have taken Tom and Lynette in a much more interesting, dramatic direction if the plot was centered around them.


5) But isn't the breakup interesting and dramatic?  Yes and no.  I mean, I guess it's different, which is good (these characters NEED a change).  But from what I've read, I worry that deep down it's going to be the same old conflicts (dealing with disciplining the kids, jealousy of other women, Lynette trying to control things beyond her control), only now they won't be together.  And then some huge tragedy will bring them back together without any problems being resolved.  So in the end, what is the point?


6) That all said, I STILL haven't decided if I'm going to watch next week or not.  


7) But I probably am.


8) Despite the fact that I'm less than enthused about Desperate Housewives, I am happy that Parks and Rec is starting again.  Not only because it's one of my favorite shows, but also because...


9) Ben and Leslie have become my other favorite TV couple.


10) But I would bet a lot of money that they're going to break up too.


11) Despite all of this, I am still really excited for new TV this week.

Community Take 2

Update on the community.  Charadesninja suggested using livejournal instead of tumblr to make posting and such easier (thank you for the help!!), so I have created a community over there.  Click here to access. 

Hopefully that will make things a little easier.  Please check it out!

Community

Because this summer hiatus feels more unbearable than usual (need I explain why?), I've decided to start a Tom/Lynette community to help all the fans of this pairing to get through the summer.  Featuring contests, fanfic, videos, pictures and more, I would love for you to check it out and (hopefully) submit something!  I'm really looking for this to be a group effort, so sharing is strongly encouraged!

Community found here. 

(I've never used tumblr before, so bear with me while I get used to the site!)

Hope to see you there!

Days 4 and 5

I couldn't sign on to the site last night, so I'm just going to double the fun today.

First up, this lovely scene from "In a World Where the King's Are Employers."

What don't I love about this scene?  It's just really sweet and lovely, and I almost want to cry every time I see it.  I think I'll leave it at that.

Next up from "Love is in the Air":

I love the rhythm of their conversation here: Tom playing calm to her irrational behavior.  It suits them.  Part of the reason I like the early episodes so much is because they really wrote this couple as a partnership.  It's nice to see them balanced here.  And the sweet moment at the end doesn't hurt either.

Day Three

I wrote a steamier fic tonight, so I decided to pick a moment to go along with that: the infamous elevator scene from "There Is No Other Way."  Not only do I think this is the sexiest scene between these characters, but I also love how they resolve their conflict in this episode.  It's nice to see them actually speak to each other like adults as opposed their fight just dissolving into a screaming match.  I also think it's an interesting comparison to look at how the show dealt with these issues in season two compared to the way they're dealing with them now.

This is one I could watch again and again (and have).  And if you're interested, I also wrote a follow-up fic to this scene that can be found here.

Enjoy!

Day Two

Today I decided to upload one of my favorite "speeches" that Tom makes throughout the entirety of the series.  Of all the ways they've supported one another over the years and stuck by each other through thick and thin, I think that what Tom says here sums it up perfectly. 

This is from the season four episode "Free." 

I think that my favorite moment might be the looks they give one another at the end.  The silent communication between these two characters is so poignant (in any situation), and this is such a beautiful example of that.  If nothing else, I always smile when I see this scene.

Celebration Week

So as most of you probably know (or have guessed), the angst and drama between Tom and Lynette is really starting to get me down.  And since I'm probably going to have to spend the entire summer dealing with that, I decided to spend this last week before the finale celebrating every reason that I love this couple.

I'm posting a new fic on my fanfiction.net account called "All the Pretty Little Moments."  My goal is to do a chapter a day--all fluff; angst-free.  And to go along with that, on this blog I'm going to celebrate one of my favorite scenes between them each day.  Please feel free to comment, reminisce, etc.  All I ask is that you leave the angst (and flames) out of it.

Enjoy!

Day One

One of my absolute favorite scenes between this couple is this one from "One More Kiss."  It also happens to be one of my favorite episodes.  Completely celebrating the fact that Tom is kind of the sweetest dork ever, these characters are great when they laugh (at themselves and at each other), and that I love seeing Tom a little scruffy.

Wading Through Spoilers

*The focus of this entry is on Tom and Lynette in a positive way.  I understand that everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but please save any flaming on this pairing for another site.  I'm just not in the mood.  Thank you so much.

Spoiler Warning

I've been wading through spoilers because people have been leaving me ominous, vague reviews or emails that state that Tom and Lynette are going to break up before the end of the season.  And while I'm glad that everyone knows what a huge fan of this pairing I am (and generally I really like to be forewarned, particularly of disasters), I hate how insubstantial these thoughts are.  So of course I had to go investigate and see if I could find anything concrete.

And that meant going to the televisionwithoutpity forums.

*Sigh*

Don't get me wrong.  I really like TWoP in general, but I can't stand to read about any shows I actually like on there.  Everything is so negative, and for a show like Desperate Housewives, there's nothing but complaints, bitching, and an emphasis on how horrible the show is.  I'm the type of person who reads something and it sticks with me for years, so I NEVER read the DH recaps on that site, and I rarely go into the forums.  If I do, the negativity and complaints get in my brain and, as ridiculous as it sounds, I just can't let it go.  Even years later, I will not be able to watch a scene without recalling what was written about it.

It's just like the time my cousin mocked (*MOULIN ROUGE SPOILER*) Christian's crying at the end of Moulin Rouge.  Now I can't watch that scene without laughing.  Yeah, I can't watch the death scene without cracking up.  And that's one of my top five favorite movies ever.  So you see my dilemma.

Anyway, I ventured into the forums and trekked through the many, many vehement comments that Tom and Lynette are a horrible couple and should break up and that Marc Cherry is lying when he says "America" loves them.  Whatever.  You can't make a statement that broad without someone disagreeing, but it's just as stupid to make the broad statement that "America" wants them to break up.  I don't.  No one I watch the show with does.  I have talked to quite a few people online who don't.  I'm sure there are people that would love to see Lynette dump Tom and run away somewhere and suddenly become this perfect, unflawed success, completely forgetting all of her kids and everything else in her life.  And that's fine.  Those people are entitled to their opinion.  But I'm also entitled to mine, and I hate those broad generalizations.

So as I perused, trying not to read the really disdainful comments too carefully, I basically discovered squat.  Supposedly a couple on the show is going to break up before the end of the season (so probably Gaby/Carlos or Tom/Lynette; I can't imagine they'll go there with Mike/Susan again [although the Paul/Susan pairing FASCINATES me!]).  I really feel like based on where the show is right now, it could go either way, but I'm not sure which.  I mean, Gaby and Carlos have already broken up once, so that feels repetitive.  On the other hand, it is true that Marc Cherry has always stuck by his statement that Tom and Lynette just won't break up.  I really think it could go either way.

(Also, there is some speculation that Renee and Tom MAY hook up?  It all seemed to be based on flimsy evidence.  And I feel like they've completely abandoned that whole storyline anyway, so why bring it back in the last hour of the season?  It just doesn't make sense).

The other theory is that while Tom and Lynette are away in the B&B, they will realize they're both acting crazy, make up and go off into the sunset together.

Until next year of course.

I HATE both options (this ignores the Renee thing completely, because if they go there I'll probably stab my eyes out, so I refuse to contemplate it).

First of all, why are the Scavos the only couple on the show to ALWAYS get these quickie resolutions?  If the writers are going to keep a couple together for all of these years, they really can take the time to actually have that couple delve into their issues and maybe at SOME POINT resolve some of them.  They never do this with Tom and Lynette.  Time and again, the couple faces some enormous conflict, and time and again, it's never resolved. 

Case in point: the season 4 finale.  After the cancer, the return of Rick, Kayla's turn to pure evil, and sending Kayla away, how did their storyline end?  Tom gave a speech about marriage (which, granted, is one of my favorite speeches on the show), he and Lynette kissed and that was it.  On to other, lamer plots.  

There are a ton of examples of this: the miscarriage, Eddie kidnapping Lynette, Lynette not wanting to have the twins 2.0, the grocery store shooting, the original go-around with Rick, Tom's lies about Atlantic City, the stupid Renee "affair" from this year, Norah's death, Kayla (where she's gone or how she is), Lynette sabotaging Tom's job in season one, etc.  All of these are either resolved with a simple kiss and make up, a fight that is never followed up on, or the plot is just completely dropped.  Now, granted, this happens with other characters on this show too, but it seems to happen every single time Lynette and Tom have any conflict arc that lasts longer than an episode.


Basically what I think it boils down to is that the writers like to drag out the conflict over several episodes (case in point: this new job ridiculousness), but then everything needs to be resolved in five minutes or less.  Why not take more time on the resolution?  Why not let us see them actually work through some of their problems instead of brushing them under the rug?  Then maybe we wouldn't have to watch them have the same argument for the 50,000 time.


Which brings me to my second point.  While I don't want the Scavos to break up (aka: put us through a divorce that will inevitably end up with them back together anyway, *cough Gaby and Carlos cough*), I wouldn't hate if they were separated for awhile.  Maybe they need to take some time apart to come back together.  And no, that doesn't mean I want to endure terrible "dating" episodes (I hate Bree and Susan's single periods more than you can fathom), but it could lead to some new and interesting conflict.  As long as the end game is still Tom/Lynette, I think I could live with it.  I might even be able to someday admit that it was a good idea.


Finally, and perhaps most importantly, hire some writers who actually see the potential in this couple.  I refuse to believe that the fact that they're still a couple makes it impossible to give them a decent storyline.  The writers seem to be stuck in a endless cycle of ridiculous one-up-man-ship over work, Tom bitching about his manhood, and Lynette being an emasculating bitch.  These are not the characters I fell in love with.  

I fell in love with Lynette because she was flawed and conflicted and smart and ballsy and so damn strong.  I fell in love with a character who didn't manipulate her husband over every little thing; I fell in love with a character who could apologize; I fell in love with a character who was passionate and funny.

I fell in love with Tom because he was sweet and lovably clueless and completely in love with his wife and smart and a little goofy.  I fell in love with a character who rarely whined; I fell in love with a character who had some kind of confidence; I fell in love with a character who compromised.

I fell in love with this couple because I liked seeing a marriage that reminded me of something real.  A marriage that had flaws and pain and imperfections, but was also clearly founded on love and communication.  I fell in love with this couple because Felicity Huffman and Doug Savant have fantastic chemistry, they're engaging actors and fun to watch.


I want that back.  I want the writers to remember that you can't guarantee a laugh just because you use the word "emasculate" at least once an episode.  I want the writers to realize that Tom and Lynette have so much more potential than what they give them.  I want the writers to see that they've turned these characters into parodies of themselves.

Be a little creative.

For instance, in twenty minutes, I came up with these ten scenarios:


Ten Tom and Lynette Plotlines

1) Kayla returns

2) One of the kids gets sick and/or dies

3) Lynette decides to do something for herself (write a book or something)

4) Penny actually becomes a teenager and gets a personality (dealing with anything from her losing her virginity to partying too much to lying to joining a band...I don't care).


5) One of Lynette's exes comes back (in 7 years we've never met one).  Maybe he's not such a nice guy?


6) Some kind of follow up with the Eddie storyline.  Maybe his trial or he reaches out to Lynette from prison.


7) The introduction of a family member we haven't met (one of Tom's siblings?) or the return of Lynette's very briefly seen sisters.


8) The return of awkward couple interactions; maybe they befriend a couple with a secret and something goes awry.


9) Tom makes so much money from this job that he and Lynette are both able to retire.  With the sudden luxury of time and fewer kids at home (technically Parker should be off to college after this season), they have to figure out what to do with themselves.


10) Some secret they share together from their early relationship is revealed.  Together they have to decide what to do/how to handle it.


Honestly, my ideas may be total crap, but that isn't the point.  The point is to prove that there are a multitude of other things that the show could be doing with this couple, but they don't because they're boxed in to one idea.  If I could pay the show to never have another episode about Tom feeling emasculated, I would.  Truly.  But I'm not going to hold my breath.


I guess what this all boils down to is my frustration.  My frustration with the repetitiveness. My frustration with lack of resolution.  My frustration with the untapped potential of this couple.  My frustration with where this storyline is going.

Sometimes I think that if the writers would just go back and re-watch season one...

C'est la vie.


So in the end, I never did discover what fate has in store for my favorite couple at the end of the season.  I guess only time will tell.

Ficlet Exercise

I was in the mood for something random tonight, so here we go.  I did this once before for Charmed, and I thought I'd try it again tonight because it's kind of a fun challenge.  The rules are:

1. Pick a character, pairing, fandom you like.
2. Turn on your music player and put it on random/shuffle.
3. Write a drabble related to each song that plays. You only have the timeframe of the song to finish the drabble; you start when the song starts, and stop when it's over.
4. Do ten of these and then post them.

Originally I snagged this from a NCIS fanfiction site.  I chose to do it for Desperate Housewives because that's obviously my fandom of choice at the moment.  So here are ten random ficlets inspired by my iPod.

I'm going to set up a poll on the journal.  Whichever ficlet gets the most votes, I'll turn into an actual fic.  I'll keep voting open for a week.

Thanks to anyone who participates!

I Was Made for You – She and Him

They run into each other accidentally at the grocery store.  It’s been a couple of days since their first kiss, and they have another date planned for Saturday night, but the moment Bree sees Orson carefully shaking a cantaloupe, her heart flutters right up into her throat.

It feels like it’s been so long since she’s felt this way that it’s like she’s feeling that excitement for the first time all over again.  Potential for love.  She can’t remember the last time she felt that.

 ~*~

When Your Mind’s Made Up – Once Soundtrack

Tom shook her shoulder like they were both pretending that she wasn’t already awake.  “Are you sure you don’t want to come today?” he asked quietly.  She wasn’t able to tell if the hope in his voice was because he wanted her to change or mind or because he hoped she wouldn’t.

“No,” she mumbled.  “I don’t feel well.”

That was true.  It felt like a cold creeping up on her.  Or maybe her period was about to start.  Or allergies.  Whatever it was, it made her not even want to move from this bed for the entire day.

She couldn’t remember the last time she spent an entire day in bed.  She never did this.

“Well,” said Tom slowly, “okay.  We’ll be back tonight.”

“Okay.”

He bent down and kissed her cheek.  He'd just shaved; his chin was smooth where it rubbed against her skin, and for a second she shut her eyes.

 ~*~

I’ll Stand By You – Glee Cast

Until she moved to Wisteria Lane, Gaby never had any friends she cared enough about to cry over.  Now, for the first time in her life, she has friends that can hurt her badly enough that she wants to fall to pieces sometimes.  Friends who love her enough that their compassion moves her to tears.  Friends whose own heartbreaks break her heart as well.

That’s how she feels right now—like her heart is breaking—and she has no idea how to make it better. 

She and Lynette sit in silence, clasping hands so tightly that it feels unbreakable.  At this moment, Gaby very desperately wants to believe that their bond is unbreakable, but she’s not sure that’s the truth.

 ~*~

Rhythm of Love – Plain White T’s

At the beginning, there’s something tentative about being together.  The looks they give each other and the way her hand sometimes brushes against his and the soft smile that lights up her face—it all seems very ephemeral.  Like at any moment it’s all going to dissolve and it will be like he dreamed her up.

Tom finds himself wondering that maybe if he’d just actually touch her with some kind of purpose, she might become more real.  She might become something that could last.

He’s both eager and scared to death to test this theory.

 ~*~

Summer Skin – Death Cab for Cutie

One day when Andrew was ten, he wandered away from home. 

Ran away, he knew his mother believed, but it wasn’t running.  He just got lost in a moment.

Of course, then he didn’t want the moment to end. 

Eventually he ended up in this little public park that he knew he mother would have hated.  She would never take him there; her eyebrows would raise sky high just at the sight of the slightly rusted swings.  But Andrew just walked over, sat down, and began to swing so high that he thought he might get lost in the sky.

 ~*~

Catch the Wind – Donovan

Carlos doesn’t just watch Gaby very often.  It seems like such a contradiction—a former model, someone so beautiful; most people would assume that just staring at her could be enough—but the truth is that Gaby is almost impossible to just gaze at.  She’s constant movement.  A leaf caught in the wind.  And that’s not the kind of thing a person thinks to sit and watch incessantly.

~*~

Spring Street – Vanessa Carlton

Lynette remembers that her mother wasn’t there to watch her move out.  When she packed up every last possession she owned, ready to leave and never, ever come back, her mother left the house.  And mostly she didn’t care, but there was this little part of her that hesitated, lingering a minute longer than necessary just in case…

But eventually she just had to hug her sisters goodbye, climb into her car, and drive away.

It felt like forever, but of course it wasn’t.  Nothing is.

Now she is sitting here, watching her own daughter pack up her room as she gets ready to leave for college, and she can almost understand why her mother had to leave.  Anticipating a goodbye is almost as painful as saying goodbye.

 ~*~

Stardust – Nat King Cole

Bree lies in her bed and wonders—maybe wishes—that it had been her instead of Rex.

She feels wicked thinking it.  Such morbidity should be punished, and it feels evil to think that death might be preferable to life.

Or at least to this life.

But she moves past the feeling of guilt and actually considers it because it’s an obsessive thought.  A world with Rex, but not with her.  Such a place never existed.  It never will exist. 

But what if it did?

~*~

These Arms of Mine – Otis Redding

They all ache in different ways.  Ache for love.  Ache for acceptance.  Ache to belong.

Tom looks at Lynette and thinks a chasm divides them right now, and he wants so much to cross it and take her in his arms.

Orson thinks that Bree is fading farther and farther away from him—or maybe he is fading farther away from her.  Either way, it scares him.

 ~*~

Cape Cod Kwassa Kwassa – Vampire Weekend

When Carlos whispered in her ear that they should have sex on the beach, Gaby really thought that it was a good idea.  The sneaked out of the hotel room late at night when it the world was lit only by a full moon and stars and went down to the cool sand.  For a few minutes, it was utterly romantic.  The sound of the waves crashing against the shore echoed the feeling in her mind like she was stumbling toward some inexpressible joy. 

Reality set in all too fast, as it was apt to do.



Poll closes on 4/17/2011 at midnight.  Please vote!

DH mini-recap: Everything's Different, Nothing's Changed

Season Seven, Episode Seventeen: "Everything's Different, Nothing's Changed"

Perhaps one of the most apt titles in awhile, but I'll get to that later.

"We can never know the moment our lives are about to change forever," says Mary Alice. This opening is composed of juxtaposed scenes between Paul, and Mike and Susan doing ordinary activities: eating dinner, drinking wine, relaxing on the couch, etc. Of course, these quiet moments are interrupted by two very different phone calls, both from the hospital. One is someone informing Susan that she has a donor, and the other is someone informing Paul that Beth has shot herself and is on life support (but brain dead). It's actually a really clever opening that shows the two drastically extreme results of Beth's suicide: Susan's pure ecstasy and Paul's dismay. Of course, the second Paul finds out that Beth is an organ donor, he orders them not to touch her until he gets there. Mary Alice sums up this news thusly: "Yes, there are moments that change our lives forever. But not always in the way we might expect."

Wee little credits.

This week's opening narration is about how the women of Wisteria Lane always look for any excuse to celebrate. Tom and Lynette pop champagne because she's not pregnant, Renee buys herself a new dress for her birthday, and Gaby gets Celia a cake for getting a C+ on her paper. And, of course, they're all at the hospital to celebrate Susan getting her kidney.

After congratulations, Susan informs the girls that she'll be getting her new kidney that night, and the first thing Renee wants to know is if Susan will still be at her party later that week. Mike says only if the party is in the intensive care unit (really? She'll need to go to the ICU to recover?; isn't this a routine procedure?), and Renee gives a huffy sigh. We find out that she and Gaby are throwing this party together, and Gabrielle is in charge of the guest list.

Suddenly interrupting this exposition, a hospital employee comes up to talk to Susan. At this point, the group finds out that Beth shot herself. Sad, guilty looks all around, particularly from Bree. Hospital employee tells Susan that Paul is with Beth now, and that it will probably take awhile longer until they can do the surgery. As he walks away, Bree sinks down into a seat to lament about how she just saw Beth "yesterday" and she should have known something was wrong. Appropriately (given the fact that we know Lynette was the last one to see Mary Alice and had similar guilt), Lynette is the one to remind Bree that she couldn't have predicted this. Of course, Bree completely leaves out the fact that she refused to let Beth donate the vital organ because she wanted to do it herself (despite how she never once brings that up in this episode, nor actually offers Susan her kidney when things go awry). But then, that's Bree.

Clearly shaken, Susan dismisses the group to go home, since nothing is going to happen that night.

The next morning, Bree is woken up by a telephone call from Mrs. McCluskey, asking her to come claim her property; "Little hint: it reeks of mai tais and you gave birth to it!" We see that Andrew is passed out on Karen's couch behind her. A little while later, Alex and Bree carry Andrew home as Karen continues to berate them for Andrew's behavior. Once inside the house, Andrew tries to excuse his behavior, explaining that he was just a little confused because all the houses look the same. Bree is indignant--this behavior is unacceptable--but Andrew is still drunk and clearly not in his right mind. She tries to remind Andrew that he's predisposed to alcoholism because of her, but he claims he has everything under control.

As Andrew passes out on the couch, Bree asks Alex how bad it's been (because apparently she has no contact with her son who lives right across the street). Alex says that it's been getting worse, going from drinking on the weekends only to drinking every night of the week. Bree thinks that Alex needs to talk to Andrew, but Alex has reached the end of his rope. He's sick of Andrew constantly promising that things will get better, and says that he's thinking of leaving him. To hell with for better or for worse.

Bree begs Alex not to leave Andrew. She wants the chance to help him, claiming that she can be resourceful when necessary: "I once smuggled vodka into church in a Jesus saves sports bottle." HAHA! Oh my. I wish we had seen that episode.

Over at Renee's, men arrive with things for her party, and then Gaby bursts in to ask if the party is still going on. Renee doesn't understand why it wouldn't, and Gaby reminds her that their neighbor just shot herself. "Gaby, it's not a party, it's an event," says Renee. "Would you cancel the Oscars? Christmas? No!" It should come as no surprise that Gaby is easily swayed by this logic, especially as she just bought a new dress. She and Renee agree that Beth would have wanted her to wear that new dress, and then Renee tells Gaby to go out and confirm the guest list. Tentatively, Gaby suggests that they have a champagne toast and moment of silence for Beth, and Renee agrees as long as they turn it into a mojito toast to themselves with plenty of music in the background.

Back at the hospital, Susan finds Paul sitting on a couch in the waiting area. Being Susan, she immediately launches into a speech about how thankful she is to Beth for giving her "this gift" and that she hopes it will be a small comfort to Paul that some part of Beth is living on inside of her. It sounds really trite, and I can't tell if it's intentional or not. On one hand, this is Susan, who tends to be completely absorbed in her own problems. On the other hand...Well, no. Maybe it is trite.

Paul sees no comfort in Susan's words. He reminds Susan that Beth is still alive, and that he's going to keep her that way as long as possible. "I'm not going to allow you to strip her for parts like some abandoned car," he says, even as Susan protests that this was Beth's idea. Paul says that Beth wasn't in her right mind, and that Susan doesn't even deserve her kidney. She wasn't kind to Beth; she didn't invite her over; she didn't try to be friends with her. Indignant, he says that Susan isn't getting anything from Beth, and then he rises and storms away. He's completely right, of course, and also projecting his own guilt over what happened. I love how many layers they've given this character, and Mark Moses plays them all brilliantly.

Commercials.

We return in the hospital where Mike is now throwing a tantrum. He demands to know how Paul can do this when Beth signed forms that legally entitle the Delfinos to her kidney. The hospital employee gently agrees that the documents would hold up in court, but also informs Mike that the hospital is not going to go into battle against a grieving husband. Of course, Mike is as self-absorbed as Susan, and he thinks that this is all about Paul having a vendetta against his family. Gee, Mike, as I recall, you were the one who kidnapped Paul and took him to the middle of nowhere to put a bullet in his brain. What would you call that?

Susan interrupts this self-righteous blathering to say that she doesn't want to fight Paul, even if it is her life on the line. She says that it's Paul's decision, not theirs, and that they have to remember that his wife shot herself. Obliviously (because Mike's level of compassion to the Youngs, including Mary Alice, is nil), Mike throws up his hands in frustration, but follows Susan out of the door.

Meanwhile, Bree and Andrew are dropping off food at a venue. Andrew is actually excited to be out of the house on this errand, asking Bree when she started to cater again, but she says it's nothing official. Andrew seems to accept this, but when he asks who the client is and Bree says they prefer to remain anonymous, his suspicion rises.

Inside, it becomes clear that Bree has tricked Andrew into coming to an AA meeting. She begs him to stay, saying it could save his life, and promises that he doesn't even have to tell anyone they're related. Before Andrew can agree--or flee--another man greets them, and Andrew introduces himself as Elvis. HAHA! "Just another reason for me to be mad at my mother," he says smugly. Awesome.

On Wisteria Lane, Tom, Carlos and a third man have just arrived home from a golf trip, and Lynette comes out to greet them. She is wearing an adorable little cardigan that I covet. The group makes some jokes about golfing, and then Carlos heads home. The third man, Glenn, asks if he can use the Scavos' bathroom before he heads home, and they all head inside.

Turns out that the bathroom was an excuse for Glenn to talk to Tom in private. He wants to poach him from Carlos to be the new CFO of his company. Lynette is thrilled, but Tom isn't too enthused. He doesn't want to leave Carlos in a lurch. Even as he officially passes, Glenn says that he isn't giving up so easily, and as he heads out, he asks Lynette to talk sense into Tom. "Talk...Beat...Whatever gets the job done," she quips.

Alone, Lynette hopes that Tom was playing Glenn to get the best offer possible, but Tom is adamant about not screwing over Carlos. And I've already written a fanfic on this, but this would have been an ideal occasion for Lynette to remind Tom that Carlos threw her under the bus last year without a second thought. Instead, she just points out that this is a great offer, a fact that Tom couldn't care less about (which, really, I'm okay with because it's definitely in character; Tom, more than any other character on this show, is about loyalty and the constant need to stay in people's good graces). Of course, somehow he fails to notice the "this isn't over, not by a long shot" look in Lynette's eyes.

Back at AA, "Elvis" is prompted to share his thoughts. He wants to pass, but Bree pushes the issue. Foolish woman. So Andrew launches into a speech about how his mother tries to control his life. "I think her greatest regret in life is that she gave birth to a son instead of a puppet. She's such a control freak. My sister and I used to call her Attila the Mom." HAHA! Oh Andrew and Danielle, I've missed you so. The group laughs, even as Bree squirms uncomfortably. Continuing, Andrew tells a story about how he planned to run for class president in high school, but Bree discouraged him without even listening to his speech. At this point, Bree is actively trying to excuse her behavior while not giving away that she's the one Andrew is talking about. "There is a difference between sharing and whining!" she shouts to the group, and at this point, the leader decides to call it quits. They stand up to pray, and as Bree and Andrew stare at one another, Andrew breaks away from the circle and leaves.

Commercials.

Gaby is confirming the invites when we return from the break. Strangely, all of the invitees seem to be the people who live on their street and Gaby approaches this task on a door-to-door basis. Okay then. They all have something snarky to say about the bad timing of this, and everyone declines to come.

"Well they can all go to hell," says Renee when Gaby informs her. She says that they're still having the party, refusing to even change the date because she always has her spring fling on the first Sunday of April. "My social life is not going to come to a stop just because some cuckoo bird decides to clean her ears with a hand gun." Even Gaby is awed by this level of unfeeling.

Susan is washing dishes when Mike comes in to tell her MJ is asleep. The small talk doesn't last long--Mike wants to talk about why Susan won't let him fight to get her the kidney (no mention of where they'd get the money to hire a lawyer, by the way). Susan points out all the things that Paul said: that it makes no sense that Beth would want to give Susan her kidney when she was never a friend. "I can't take her kidney knowing that maybe I am the reason she's lying in that hospital," says Susan, and Mike pulls her in for a hug.

Over at the Scavos', Lynette is taking a less direct approach with a tough subject than Mike did. Clad in a bathrobe, she emerges from the bathroom and dims the lights in the room, ignoring Tom's protests that he's reading. Silkily, she greets Tom like he's a passenger on a plane as she climbs up on the chest at the foot of their bed and strips off her robe, revealing a sexy bra and little boxer shorts underneath (which is just so Lynette that I love the costuming people at this moment). Tom's eyes go wide and he throws down his book. "Help me put my bag under the seat," he says, trying to play along, and Lynette shakes her head and tells him to let her do the talking. She steps onto the bed, asking Tom if he needs help with his seatbelt, and then she pulls back the covers to note that he's "already in the upright and locked position." HA! As Lynette sits down on Tom's lap, he eyes her greedily, asking the name of the airline so he can become a frequent flier. "Oh, this isn't a commercial airline, sir," she says flirting. "Hotshot executives like you only fly on the corporate jet."

Even as Lynette bends to kiss her husband, Tom's warning bells go off, and he reminds Lynette that he's not taking the job. Lynette goes from sexy flight attendant to annoyed wife in two seconds flat, wrapping her robe around her again and climbing off of Tom's lap. He makes the same protests--that he refuses to be disloyal--and Lynette agrees that's fine, but he has to at least try to leverage Carlos for a better offer. Tom agrees, and Lynette is suddenly in the mood again. She shimmies back on top of Tom and the two of them get down and dirty.

Of course, we just go to commercials.

Paul finds Felicia in a prison chapel, supposedly crying over the death of her daughter. They immediately get into an argument over whether to take Beth off of life support until Felicia says that they need to stop playing "this sick game." She points out that they both used Beth and they both hurt her, and now Beth is the latest victim of their twisted web. Paul wants to claim innocence, but Felicia reminds him that he refused to believe that Beth loved him. In this moment, Felicia confirms what Paul refused to believe--that Beth's love was real--but Paul still thinks there's hope she'll recover. Felicia says that they did this to Beth, and they need to let her go. Paul leaves.

Back on the Lane, Bree arrives at Andrew's to try to get him to come to another meeting. She approaches it with absolutely no bitterness or reproach, which is refreshing, but Andrew says that the agreement was for one meeting and "Elvis has left the building." He's still claiming he's fine, but Bree points out that "I don't have a problem" is one of the biggest cliches for alcoholics. Andrew says that he's not denying he has problems: no job; Alex works long hours; his whole day consists of endless stretches of nothing--just doing housework. "I dusted the other day. Actually dusted, and felt proud. How pathetic is that?" And so we've reached the realization, that Andrew has actually turned into Bree: married to a doctor who is ready to give up on his marriage and turning to alcohol and housework to get through his problems. The parallel is brilliant, and left understated, which I love. I also love the look on Bree's face as Andrew confesses all of this: like she realizes exactly what her son is going through, and she loves him all the more in the face of this hardship. Kudos to Marcia Cross and Shawn Pyfrom on this scene. God, I've missed these two; they have the best chemistry.

Anyway, Andrew says that he doesn't see why he shouldn't be allowed to drink at night to relax as long as he's not hurting anyone. He asks Bree to trust that he'll be okay, and, realizing that she can't force Andrew from his denial, she says that she hopes so. But as she leaves, she remembers that her disregard of Beth's sorrow led to her suicide, and she can't let the same happen to her son. Storming back into the house (where Andrew has already poured a drink), she reminds Andrew of this very fact, saying that she won't ever walk away when she knows something is wrong again, especially not from her own son. In that moment, Andrew finally breaks, confessing that Alex left him. Bree hugs him tightly, comforting her baby for the first time I can ever remember. "I guess he got sick of living with a drunk," sobs Andrew. Bree encourages him to go to another meeting, but Andrew says that he can't talk about this in front of a bunch of strangers. "Then we can have a meeting right here. Just the two of us," says Bree. They look at one another sadly.

Commercials.

Carlos and Tom are meeting about Tom's new job offer, and Tom's request for a raise. Immediately, Carlos says that the company is going through a rough patch and he can't give Tom any more money, but he will make him chief marketing officer and give him a car allowance and profit participation. You know, Lynette really is right about Carlos. He is a shrewd bastard. I mean, is chief marketing officer really better than vice president?

Back at home, Lynette finds this offer unacceptable. She points out that there is no profit participation because Carlos always takes any extra cash at the end of the year as a bonus. Dude. Carlos is hard core; I love it. It would have been hilarious to see him and Lynette go head-to-head on this one. Anyway, Lynette continues to berate this offer in her typical Lynette way until Tom snaps, "Why do you keep pushing like this?" Lynette: "Because if I don't, you go nowhere." Ah, there we have it. Lynette putting her foot in her mouth, as usual.

Things go from bad to worse as Lynette doesn't immediately take back what she said and Tom gets pissed off. "I think you are an amazing husband and father, but as a businessman..." she says. She thinks that Tom should take this opportunity while he has it because he's not getting any younger, but Tom is still insistent about not stabbing Carlos in the back. "You think Carlos would hesitate for a second if the roles were reversed? Not a chance. That's how he got where he is. He's ruthless," she points out, still not reminding Tom about how Carlos STABBED HER IN THE BACK just last year!! The show's inability to bring this up enrages me anew every time. He tossed her out on the street when she was pregnant and Tom was unemployed--that's how much he puts friendship ahead of business. Ugh. Whatever. Tom says that if Lynette doesn't drop this, he'll show her how he can be ruthless too. You know, Tom loves to make vague threats like that, but he never follows through and I really wonder if he ever could. I don't think he has it in him to intentionally hurt her like that.

That night, Gaby is taking out trash when she sees a hubbub down the street at Renee's and goes to investigate. Of course, this raises the question of why Tom was at work on a Sunday, but let's go with it. Inside, Gaby finds Renee, shocked that so many people showed up, but she quickly realizes that all of the guests are service people. Because apparently Renee doesn't know anyone but the residents of Wisteria Lane? I mean, was there really no one invited to this bash but their neighbors?

Regardless of my logic, Gaby wants to know why Renee didn't just postpone until the people she actually wanted to come could make it. Renee says that she refuses to pretend to be sad, but Gaby points out that Beth is dying. "She did it to herself!" snaps Renee. "Everyone has pain. But only a selfish bitch checks out and passes it on to everyone else. Beth didn't care who she hurt: her mother, her husband, her daughter..." Gaby gently reminds Renee that Beth didn't have a daughter, and Renee tries to play it off, but it's too late. Gabrielle now realizes why this is such a sensitive subject for Renee.

As tender as Gaby can possibly be, she asks Renee if her mother took her own life. Renee admits as much, and Gaby tries to broach the subject of her father's death to show Renee they can talk about this. Renee doesn't want to talk though. "I refuse to let it be what defines me," she says. "This spring fling may seem shallow and insensitive to you, but it's my way of saying I choose life over death." So did her mother kill herself in the spring too, or is this a special meaning for this year? I'm going to pretend it's the former because it makes more sense. Gaby says she'll join Renee at the party, and the two of them go to rejoin the guests.

Commercials.

Lynette is all dolled up to go look at a really hot red car that she wants to take for a test drive. The salesman asks if it's for her or her husband, but Lynette says it's for her neighbor. Warning! Warning! Back at home, she parks the car in the Solies' driveway and skedaddles home to wait for Tom.

When Tom gets home, he's outraged by the sexy car in Carlos' driveway. The car has made Tom see Carlos in a whole new light, and he's thinking about taking the job. Of course, Lynette only encourages this, so Tom grabs the phone, calls Glenn, and takes the job. As the Scavos celebrate, Lynette realizes the flaw in her plan: Tom now wants to go tell off Carlos.

Cut to Lynette chasing Tom down the street and gingerly confessing that the car isn't actually Carlos', she planted it there to make Tom take the job. Tom is outraged, but Lynette says that she had to show him that Carlos very well could have done the exact thing she's pretending he did. Oh Lynette. Tom doesn't want to hear it. He orders Lynette into the car and says that after they take it back, he's calling Glenn back. They get into the car, Lynette still extolling all of the perks of taking this job and, probably rightly, pointing out that she doesn't think Tom has even considered if he actually wants the job or not. "It would be better if you didn't talk right now," says Tom, and for once in her life, Lynette actually shuts up.

Then, as Tom starts the car, his eyes light up in excitement. Despite his obvious delight, Lynette remains quiet, letting Tom enjoy driving the car. After awhile, Tom casually asks when they have to return the car to the dealer, and Lynette says by four, but they could probably be a little late. "Yeah" agrees Tom. "Let's be a little late." And the Scavos zoom off in the hot red car.

And so Tom takes the job without us ever learning why Lynette is suddenly obsessed with material possessions and money to Gaby-esque proportions. So some speculation on where this is going; some spoilers ahead. The next few episodes seem to be focused very much on the Scavos' new, executive, jet-setting lifestyle, culminating in a very vague spoiler for the end of the season that someone observes that they're going through a "rough patch" (although I would argue that thing have been a little rough between them all season; I could write a whole comparison with season three, but I won't). Combined with that strange foreshadowing from "Flashback" when Tom said that money changes people (which at the time I thought was referring to further developments with Stella, but I now think has to do with this), I think that this new job doesn't bode well for the Scavos.

So how will it play out? Will Tom become a total douchebag now that he has money and power? Will Lynette regret pushing him into this job? Will they both become cold, rich snobs? Is this going to end with Tom having to choose between the money and his family? In a way, I'm interested to see how this plays out, if only because it could result in a fresher storyline for this couple. I'm getting tired of the only conflict between them being Lynette's control issues/Tom's insecurity about his manhood (which, by the way, comes and goes depending on how the writers need the storyline to play out that week). Reflecting back on this season, the depression storyline could have gone in a much more interesting direction (you know, by maybe even just once bringing the whole Eddie debacle into it); I wish they had just skipped the pointless "affair" story; and I really hope that at some point they will just make Penny a teenager so we can get some sort of interesting story out of her character. I guess what I'm really trying to say is that I'm hoping that some new insight and drama will come out of this new storyline, and I don't mind that there could be dissent in their marriage, so long as it's smartly written and not completely inane.

Okay, so the last five minutes of this show. Paul shows up at Susan's apartment to talk about Beth. He says that he's decided to give Susan Beth's kidney, and that he's going to take her off of life support. Paul asks if Susan could forget some of the things he said to her before, but Susan thinks that Paul was right: she doesn't deserve this kidney. "Beth didn't love people because they deserved it," says Paul sadly. Susan is confused, and doesn't want to accept the kidney, but Paul insists that she fulfill Beth's last wish. Quietly, Susan agrees, and Paul thanks her. "Paul," says Susan as he stands to leave, "I am so very, very sorry about your wife." "Yes," says Paul, breaking down into tears. "I am too." Slowly, Susan pulls Paul in for a hug and he sobs.

"There comes a moment when our lives change forever," says Mary Alice tenderly. Cut back to Andrew and Bree, talking on his couch: "The moment we admit our weaknesses." Next we go to the Scavos', where Lynette kisses Tom goodbye as he heads off to work: "The moment we rise to a challenge." This is followed by Susan being wheeled away to surgery: "The moment we accept a sacrifice." And finally, we see Paul, crying and holding Beth's hand: "Or let a loved one go." The episode ends back in the prison chapel, where Felicia is still praying. A man enters to tell her she's been granted her request for "humanitarian release" (?? Does that exist??). Felicia acts contrite, but as soon as the man leave, an evil smile creeps up on her face. God, I hope she gets hers before the end of the season.

Well I would give this episode a solid A. I liked all of the storylines (although Gaby and Renee's felt a bit forced), especially Bree and Andrew's. As I said at the beginning, the title was very appropriate for this episode. All of these storylines were classics with a new twist: Andrew being an alcoholic paralleled Bree's own problem in season two; Paul and Susan struggled to deal with the "why" of a suicide much like they did in season one; and Tom and Lynette had a usual battle of wills about work, but with the reverse of her pushing him toward greatness instead of holding him back. I think it proved well that this show can put a new spin on familiar territory, and I hope that they can continue this trend.

Two whole weeks to the new one. I'm so tired of waiting for this show. Thank goodness that after this brief break it's all new to the end.

Of course, then there's a very long summer to get through. *Sigh*