Spoilers

Or: Why I'm Afraid Desperate Housewives Is about to Jump the Shark

Those of you who read my recaps might remember how unusually calm I was when the the show first hinted that Tom and Renee had some kind of secret past. That optimism lasted until I read a spoiler that Renee still has romantic feelings for Tom, and since then I've been on a desperate search for specific spoilers. From what I have heard through the grapevine and read, everything specifies that Tom and Renee did have an affair. The indication seems to be that it was pre-series while Tom and Lynette were still dating. Of course, nothing is set in stone until it actually comes out on the show, but I'd bet a lot of money that what I've heard is probably right on track.

*Sigh*

There are so many things that I have to say about this, so let's break this down.

A History of Affairs

First of all, why does this show insistently believe that an affair will add a new, compelling element to any story line. It's not a guarantee to spice things up. Look at the show's track record:

Gaby and John Rowland

I was never a fan of John Rowland, but the fact is that this affair was intriguing for several different reasons. It was layered: a symptom of Gaby's marital problems; a testament to Gaby's and Carlos' selfishness in season one; a crime that added more drama; and, ultimately, proof that Gaby and Carlos' relationship really was built on love. This affair went a long way to define the Solises on this show, and for that reason it was effective and well-written.

Rex and Maisy GIbbons

This is another example of an affair that worked. Rex's affair was in no way emotional, and in that sense I think that it was easier to forgive. I'm not sure if this is a popular opinion, but I, for one, still rooted for Rex and Bree even after this came out. Bree's reaction to this secret was appropriate and, again, revealed a lot about her character in season one. It was not just a salacious secret meant to spice up the show, but rather a meaningful way to extend character and plot development

Carlos and Xiao Mei

In some way, I always saw this as a way to build on the idea that Carlos has more depth to him. One of his key characteristics is how he values family. However, the result of this affair--Gaby and Carlos' ensuing divorce--is a prime example of using an affair primarily to pursue a plot that doesn't work. One of my biggest complaints about season three of this show is that Carlos and Gaby broke up. It was obvious from the beginning that eventually they'd end up back together, and watching them date other people was never particularly compelling. I could write an entire entry on this plot, but I'll save that for another day.

Carlos and Gaby

I have mixed feelings about this affair. It was fun, for once, to root for the people having the affair. However, the drama with Edie and Victor veered a little toward the absurd by the end of this story line. Victor's death seemed like a trite ending; an easy way wrap up this plot in a nice little bow.

Bree and Karl

I know that this pairing was fairly popular, but this affair is the best example, for me, of a relationship meant purely to "spice up" the show. I don't feel like any of the characters grew or changed as a result of this affair. It resulted in Karl's death--the most irrelevant end of a character I've ever seen--and afterwards, Bree and Orson hardly discussed it. Honestly, it felt pointless. Not to mention that, for me, it made Bree extremely unlikable. While Bree's morals are stringent to the point of obnoxiousness at times, at least it makes her admirable. When hypocrisy results, however, it just makes her hard to watch.

Other Affairs

And all of that doesn't even touch on:

*Karl cheating on Susan with Brandy
*Karl cheating on Edie with Susan
*Susan cheating on Mike with Ian

And the non-affairs like:

*Bree and George
*Tom and Norah
*Lynette and Rick
*Mike and Susan (during the Katherine engagement of season 5)

In total, that's twelve "affairs" in this show's seven year history. That doesn't include the affairs of minor characters. Is it wrong for me to find that excessive? I understand that this show falls into the soap opera genre, but honestly, most of the affairs I've seen on Days have had more emotional resonance than some of these.

And now we'll be able to bump that number up to thirteen.

The Purpose

So Tom had an affair. Great. What is the purpose of revealing this?

Character Development

I can accept almost any plot (no matter how absurd) as long as it results in character development. Lynette's emotional affair with Rick in season three was hard to watch, but at least I feel like we learned more about her, Tom and their relationship by the end. Potentially, I could accept this too if there was character development. However, at this point in this show, I really don't know what we could learn about the characters through this revelation.

Lynette

It has already been fully developed that Lynette has no tolerance for affairs. Let's look at how many times they've already overused just the idea that Tom has had an affair:

Season One

*"Move On" - Tom has the hots for their nanny
*"Your Fault" - Lynette finds out about Tom's father's infidelity and overreacts
*"Fear No More" to "One Wonderful Day" - Annabel returns and Lynette obsesses over the idea that Tom will cheat on her

Season Two

*"One More Kiss" - Gaby kisses Tom and Lynette becomes suspicious and paranoid
*"I Know Things Now" to "Remember" - Lynette finds out about Tom's trips to Atlantic City, follows him there, believes he's having an affair, runs away and ends up back with him when she finds out the truth

Season Three

*"Sweetheart, I Have to Confess" - Norah kisses Tom and when Lynette finds out she literally kicks down Norah's door
*"Bang!" - Lynette's confession that Norah is after Tom inadvertently causes Norah's death

Season Five

*"There's Always a Woman" - Lynette thinks Tom is cheating on her until she learns that Porter is actually the one having an affair

Thirteen episodes out of one hundred and forty-one have dealt with this topic. That's 9% of the show (and that doesn't even include that really the first eight episodes of season 3 dealt with Tom and Norah). At this point, I feel like that's more than enough. I get it. Lynette has no tolerance for this. She's almost irrationally paranoid. But it's also been established that she is by far the most forgiving character on this show (see her forgiving Tom about Norah and Kayla for just one example). So how is the revelation that Tom cheated on her twenty years ago going to show me anything even remotely new about her? Based on her history, this is what I will predict:

1) Lynette is going to leave or kick Tom out
2) Lynette will be at war with Renee over this
3) Lynette will eventually forgive him
4) They will get back together

I don't expect to learn anything new about Lynette through this plot. In fact, I'll probably almost be annoyed on some level that she's going to throw away twenty years of marriage over that something that happened over two decades ago.

Tom

On the other hand, I feel like this entire plot is going to try to redefine Tom's character. There is character development and then there is character defaming. This, in my opinion, is the latter. How many times has Tom vowed that he has never and will never cheat on Lynette? How many times has he been in the path of temptation and refused to give in? The only instance of infidelity that Tom has ever engaged in is his affair with Lynette when he was dating Annabel. And, according to Mary Alice, it was only a few weeks into his relationship with Lynette that Tom realized he wanted to marry her. So at what point did he squeeze in this affair with Renee? Let's face it, Tom is the most faithful character on this show and they are retconning his history with this development.

Also, I absolutely don't even understand this pairing. Renee does not seem like Tom's type based on all of the history we've been given on his past relationships. I feel like just because she's connected with Lynette's past, I'm supposed to believe this is plausible. I don't.

Story Development

Where is the show going with this? If a plot is not going to develop the characters, it should at least advance the story. So in the saga of Tom and Lynette, where is this going to take them?

Possibilities:

*Tom and Lynette will break up and get divorced
*One or both of these characters will date other people
*Tom and Lynette will break up, bicker, and eventually end up back together
*The characters will actually stick it out and have to work through this problem

None of these options is particularly appealing to me. The first two, frankly, make me ill. The third seems tedious. And the fourth has already been done to death (see season three with both Norah and Rick). So what will be compelling about this plot? What other options are there?

Jumping the Shark

Most shows that last this long tend to jump the shark. It's a depressing, if true, fact. However, I've had high hopes that this show wouldn't succumb to the usual pitfalls of other shows. A brief look at my history:

Charmed

When It Jumped the Shark: Season 5

Cole and Phoebe's relationship was on the rocks, and eventually Cole was killed off. The episodes became unbearably "cute" and no longer followed a season arc. The characters became selfish and annoying.

When It Became Unbearable: Season 6

Just a year later, the writers broke up Piper and Leo. I actually see a lot of parallels between that and this debacle with Tom and Lynette. Although Leo didn't cheat on Piper, his decision to become an Elder was completely out of character and never properly explained. Then we had to endured a year and a half of drama before they finally got back together. Meanwhile, Phoebe and Paige became more and more intolerable, and the continuity went to hell.

The X-Files

When It Jumped the Shark: Season Eight

Mulder left. On a show built around two main characters, losing one of them proves to be detrimental.

When It Became Unbearable: Season Nine

Scully was relegated to a minor role. Doggett and Reyes became the main characters. Because the show was so driven by Scully and Mulder and their partnership, it really became unwatchable.

Other Examples

Scrubs jumped the shark when the characters became parodies of themselves; How I Met Your Mother made its characters so obnoxious it was hard to root for them (although they seem to be recovering this year); The Office stopped being funny; Gilmore Girls broke up Luke and Lorelai through the introduction of a secret child (I loathe that plot) and made Rory unbearable; and Buffy lost half of its cast when they spun off Angel (not to mention the introduction of Buffy's sister). These are only a few examples; there are many more.

To sum up: When will shows learn that they can only push the realm of believability so far? If you betray your characters, make them shadows of themselves, or try to make unpopular, dramatic changes for ratings (or boredom or writer's block or whatever), it isn't going to help your show.

Tom and Lynette are an immensely popular couple. Even in interviews, Marc Cherry has stated that he knows he can only push that couple so far without the audience revolting. Well guess what, you may have just reached that point.

Please, please prove me wrong.