DH recap: Epiphany

Season Six, Episode Twenty: "Epiphany"

This episode opens with a shot of a run-down house with an overgrown lawn. "There is a house in the town of Fairview," explains Mary Alice as the camera slowly pans to one of the windows in the house. "In this house there lives a monster. The kind who kills young women. You may ask how such a monster came to be. And that's a very good question, indeed." The blinds open and Eddie is revealed; he stares blankly out the window before the shot cuts inside his house.

Eddie's mother lies on the couch and complains to Eddie that she's out of Scotch. Eddie offers to buy her more while he's out, but that's not good enough for her because she wants it now. In fact, she thinks Eddie has been stealing her booze and hiding it in his room. "Mom, stop being so paranoid. I don't even drink," snaps Eddie. His voice softens as he explains that he has to go help Lynette fix her car, but his mother doesn't care.

Eddie walks outside as Mary Alice begins to elaborate. "His name was Eddie," she says. Instead of following Eddie on his adventure to the Scavos', the camera goes back to his mother. "Everyone thought he was harmless. Until the day his mother went into his room." Eddie's mom impressively kicks open his door and begins to root around the room in search of her lost alcohol; Mary Alice explains, "She was just looking for a bottle of Scotch, but found the truth instead." Beneath Eddie's mattress is his odd scrapbook on the Fairview strangler attacks and his mother looks through it curiously. "Soon everyone in town would be asking, 'How could such a monster come to be?' Sadly, the answer would satisfy no one." So clearly Mary Alice feels the need for a disclaimer on this episode; that can't foreshadow anything good.

Wee little credits.

Speaking of Mary Alice, she's alive and well in this flashback! In fact, she's running right down the street! In voiceover, she tells the audience, "I met Eddie on a Monday. He had just turned four." Mary Alice stops in front of Eddie's house--which is impeccably kept at this point--and pants heavily. Eddie sits on the lawn playing and Mary Alice warns him to take up jogging now instead of waiting until he's old and worn down like she is. Unsurprisingly, young Eddie doesn't take her too seriously, although that may be because of the sounds of his parents having an epic fight inside the house. Mary Alice looks up, concerned, and asks Eddie what's going on inside. Just then the door opens and Eddie's father comes outside followed by his mother, Barbara; she's young and pretty, not haggard like she is in the present day.

While she's apologizing profusely, Eddie's father says it doesn't matter because he never wanted "any of this" and that includes Eddie. Mary Alice is heartbroken and appalled, and she butts in, yelling, "Excuse me! Is this your child?" She lectures the parents about speaking that way in front of Eddie; they don't care and Eddie's father gets in his car and drives away. As Barbara doubles over in grief, Mary Alice comforts poor little Eddie until his mother beckons him to her side. Eddie runs over to her obediently.

Night. It's unclear whether this is the same day or a few days later, but Mary Alice stands on Barbara's doorstep with a pot of macaroni and cheese. She tells Barbara that she just wanted to check in and see how they're doing. Barbara hesitates until Mary Alice offers to let her bitch about her husband. "I promise," she says, "I won't defend him." What the hell would there be to defend? Barbara acquiesces and let's Mary Alice inside.

Sometime later, Eddie sits on the couch eating dinner and watching cartoons while the women are eating at a table nearby. Mary Alice compliments Eddie's looks. Barbara: "He looks just like his father. Such a shame." The conversation turns to Eddie's father, who Barbara claims is gone for good this time. Apparently, Barbara has no one else to turn to and has to raise Eddie on her own now. "I have this great group of friends over on Wisteria Lane," says Mary Alice. "We've helped each other get through all sorts of problems." Wow, Mary Alice, that line is so after-school-special of you. Barbara claims she's never been good at making girl friends (maybe she should have hooked up with Edie) and that now that she's thirty-five and a single mom, she won't have too many boyfriends either. "Oh don't be ridiculous," says Mary Alice. "Women in your situation find love. You just have to look for it." Okay, it's official; Mary Alice is the last person I'd call to come comfort me. She's just so...full of platitudes.

Mary Alice says she has to leave and offers to stop by again the following week. Barbara says that isn't necessary, not realizing that Mary Alice isn't going to take no for an answer. "He's going to be a real heart breaker someday," Mary Alice says of Eddie as she departs. "Just like his father," Barbara mutters under her breath.

The following week, I presume, Mary Alice shows up like clockwork at Eddie's house, this time with a big teddy bear. She rings the doorbell, but when no one answers she starts to walk away. Suddenly she catches a glimpse of Eddie through the window and greets him excitedly. "I'm not supposed to open the door," explains Eddie. Mary Alice: "Well tell your mom I'm here and she can open it." Eddie: "She's not here." "Oh, well, tell your babysitter then," says Mary Alice. Eddie looks away nervously and Mary Alice slowly realizes that Eddie doesn't have a babysitter either; he's home alone. Angry, Mary Alice asks Eddie where his mom is.

Cut to a bar, where Barbara is dolled up and flirting with a skeezy looking fellow. Mary Alice storms in, and Barbara waves her over. Judging by how happy she is to see Mary Alice, I'd say she's drunk. Barbara's man, Ron, offers to by Mary Alice a drink and she declines, turning to Barbara and ordering her to leave. Ron tries to protest, but Mary Alice tells him to shut up. Heh. Mary Alice explains that she has Eddie in the car and when Ron finds out that Barbara has a kid, he dumps her right then and there. That's the kind of stand-up guy she's attracting in this dive. "Now look at what you've done!" snaps Barbara to Mary Alice, who replies that she came close to calling social services. I'm actually kind of surprised that she didn't. Let's be honest here: this is a woman who gladly took a baby away from his drug addicted mother to keep him safe. And then murdered her to keep him. I can't see her being the type to just let kids stay in dangerous environments like this. In fact, why doesn't she just kidnap this baby too and raise him herself? Mary Alice drags Barbara from the bar.

Back at Eddie's house, Mary Alice gives Barbara some coffee to sober her up. Barbara explains that she knew she shouldn't have gone out, but that she was desperate to get a few hours to herself. "He's four-years-old, Barbara. What if he had gotten sick? What if he had hurt himself?" demands Mary Alice. Barbara says that she knows and that it was stupid. "You've got to promise me that you will never do something like this again," says Mary Alice. Barbara promises, but then adds, "It's just...I really need a man." Oh, well then. Mary Alice apparently doesn't hear the crazy in this announcement and says she has to go; Barbara gives her a hug and lies that everything is good now. "I want you to be happy, Barbara, I do," says Mary Alice as she's departing. "It's just being a mother means always putting his needs ahead of yours." You mean like not killing yourself because you're scared/desperate/guilty? Like that, Mary Alice? She doesn't pop in to narrate on this irony and flashback Mary Alice leaves the house.

Barbara walks over to Eddie and gives him a hug. "Oh Eddie," she says, "It's not your fault you ruined my life." Wow. Mother of the year right here, folks.

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Okay. Before this next section starts, I'd just like to remind everyone of this little scene from season two's episode "Remember."







Okay. Keep that in mind as I go through this next part. It will be self-explanatory why this grated on my last nerve.

Gaby sits in the middle of her bedroom, but the room is completely empty. There's not a stick of furniture, not one picture on the wall. "Gabrielle met Eddie on a Tuesday," explains Mary Alice. "The day she moved into the neighborhood." Looking glum, Gaby calls Carlos on her cell phone and announces she's bored. Apparently Carlos is at work and she's stuck waiting for the moving van. In addition to being bored, Gaby also bitches about the town and her new neighbors, who already brought her food. Carlos doesn't want to listen to this nonsense any more than I do, and he tells Gaby he's going into a meeting and can't talk. Angrily, Gaby hangs up and pouts.

Suddenly Gaby hears some odd clanking noises coming from the bathroom. Quietly, she sneaks into the room and finds Eddie, now aged nine, playing in her bathtub. "Who the hell are you?" she asks. Eddie promptly introduces himself and explains that he's been sneaking in the window to play in the empty house ever since the old neighbors moved out. He wants to know if he can keep doing this, but of course Gaby says no and kicks him out. "Did you know you're really beautiful?" asks Eddie before he leaves. In what is no surprise to anyone on this entire planet, Gaby is won over by this statement and when Eddie offers to stay and help her unpack she agrees.

Cut to several days later. The house is now unpacked and Eddie is painting Gaby's toenails. That is wrong and creepy on so many levels. The doorbell rings and Eddie jumps up to answer it, but Gaby tackles him to the ground. "Shh! Keep your voice down!" she orders. "It might be one of those Stepford wives with another welcome to the neighborhood cake. I mean really, does it look like I eat cake?" Oh Gaby, how much you miss. Eddie points out that some of the women in the neighborhood are nice, like the "red-haired lady" who makes her own Halloween candy. "You mean the one whose parents named her after cheese? No thank you," snarks Gaby. "I like my robots a little more life-like. Though she's not as bad as that blond chick whose always yelling at her kids. There are people on fire who are not as loud as she is. I thought maybe for a second that Susan Mayer lady and I could be friends. Then she started talking." Hehehe.

Gaby decides whoever was at the door probably left, and she and Eddie stand up. Gaby tells Eddie they can watch television after he finishes unpacking the boxes in the kitchen, but Eddie says he finished that already. "Oh my God," says Gaby. "If you can sew I am locking you in my basement and you are staying here forever." Eddie: "Cool!" Gaby explains that she was joking and finally kind of realizes that maybe it's odd that Eddie's been hanging out with her for a week. She says she should probably call Eddie's mom, but Eddie says that she has a boyfriend over and needs her alone time. For some reason, Gaby accepts this point-blank and offers to have Eddie stay for dinner; but, of course, he's cooking--reheated soup. "Well that's more than I can do," says Gaby.

On another day, Gaby's doing the dishes and complaining to Yao Lin on the phone because Yao Lin called in sick. As Gaby gets louder and more demanding, Yao Lin simply hangs up. Ah, I miss Yao Lin sometimes. Gaby doesn't have the chance to get mad because Carlos suddenly comes through the door. He's home for some mid-afternoon sex and Gaby is more than happy to comply.

Later, Gaby and Carlos are post-coital in a bubble bath discussing where to do it next. Gaby suggests the guest bedroom, but Carlos doesn't have time. He has to get back to work and he says they only have five more minutes. Gaby: "Well don't just sit there. Fondle something!" Carlos leans in to kiss her shoulder, but suddenly catches sight of something and yells, "What the hell?! Who are you?!" Gaby shrieks at the sight of Eddie, who stands in the doorway watching her and Carlos. "Do you know this kid?" asks Carlos as Gaby tries to cover herself with a towel.

"I knocked," says Eddie matter-of-factly. "No one answered. So I came through the window." Carlos' face is so funny; he is clearly aghast at this entire situation. "We're naked! Get out!" he orders. "She told me I could come over. Who's this guy?" sasses Eddie. Carlos' eyes almost bug out of his head as Gaby explains that he's her husband and screams at him to get out. Eddie runs away.

A few minutes later, Carlos is dressed again and lecturing Gaby about spending her days with a small child. "He's lonely! I'm lonely!" argues Gaby. Carlos rightly points out that there are a lot of women on the street that she could be friends with. "Well they're all so weird," says Gaby. Carlos: "Gaby, your best friend is a nine-year-old boy. That's weird." Haha! Gaby argues that Eddie has no one in his life to look out for him, even his mother, and she thinks she should go over and say something to her. Carlos orders her to stay out of it (stupid Carlos!) and says that she needs to go out and make a life for herself.

After Carlos leaves, Gaby comes outside to talk to Eddie; he's standing there whipping her bushes with a stick. "Look, Eddie," she says, "I'm sorry Carlos yelled at you. It's just that we were cleaning the tub." Eddie turns to her, incredulous. "I know what sex is! I'm not stupid!" he tells her. Gaby agrees that he's not stupid, which is why Eddie should know better than to break into people's houses. At this point, Eddie gets a bit sassy with Gaby, but she ignores him and gives him a bittersweet speech about how they can't hang out anymore. She says they both need to make friends their own ages. Eddie's response: "You know, you're not so pretty!" And Gaby, honest to God, gasps. Eddie runs away.

Back at Eddie's house, his mom lies on the couch having sex with some guy. Eddie walks in and watches them for a moment before grabbing a BB gun and heading out to the back yard. There he aims the gun at some birds on the roof.

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"Bree hired Eddie to help out on a Wednesday," recalls Mary Alice when the show returns. Eddie appears to be painting some part of her house. "And she helped him in return." Bree approaches Eddie and pays him for his work for the day; they agree that he'll come back at the same time tomorrow. He refers to her as Mrs. Hodge, so this must take place some time during or after season three. Eddie tries to return some of her money, claiming she paid him too much, but Bree tells him to keep it and spend it on his girlfriend.

"I don't have a girlfriend," says Eddie, handing some of the money back to Bree. She brushes past this, saying he's still young, but Eddie says it wouldn't matter how old he is because girls don't pay attention to him. "Well did it ever occur to you that they might be waiting for you to notice them?" asks Bree. Eddie is skeptical, but admits that there's a girl he likes at school. Immediately, Bree launches into dating tips: compliment her eyes; bring her flowers; buy her nice jewelry. Eddie soaks all this up like a sponge. He's so sad and eager that it breaks my heart to look at him.

Over at Eddie's house, Barbara is outside watering the lawn when Bree approaches. I don't know why Barbara's bothering with the lawn because it's nothing but an overgrown mess of weeds. Bree introduces herself and Barbara skeptically asks if Bree's the one who has sex with her gardeners. "Oh goodness no," says Bree. "That's...someone else." Bree asks to speak to Eddie, but Barbara says he's not there. In that case, Bree needs Barbara's help.

Cut to inside, where Barbara's drinking and Bree's explaining how she gave Eddie some helpful hints about girls. "What I didn't realize is that the object of his affection is my daughter Danielle," explains Bree. Oh, poor, stupid Eddie. I guess this bumps the timeline back to before Danielle was pregnant. Didn't Bree have more pressing matters to deal with then? Like Orson's crazy ex-wife and murderous mother?

Bree goes on to tell Barbara about how Eddie has been trying to woo Danielle, including leaving a small bracelet in their mailbox. Barbara scoffs and calls Eddie cheap when she sees the bracelet. Clearly feeling awkward, Bree rushes on to explain that Danielle doesn't return Eddie's affections. Barbara cuts her off, saying she gets it, Danielle is out of Eddie's league. Bree tries to protest, but Barbara says she'll talk to Eddie.

Just then, Eddie comes into the house. "What's going on?" he asks. Barbara: "This lady says you've been stalking her daughter." Bree is horrified and immediately denies this. "You just said he's harassing some girl he has no chance with," says Barbara. "What the hell else do you call that?" Eddie turns to Bree, hurt, and says, "I was trying to woo her." Heartbreakingly and maddeningly, Barbara starts to laugh in Eddie's face, openly mocking him. Bree snaps at Barbara to stop mocking Eddie, but Barbara says she's just thrilled because she thought the only girl Eddie would ever get would be blind, deaf or inflatable. Eddie quietly begs her not to laugh at him, but Barbara ignores him. Barbara promises Bree that she'll make sure Eddie stops hassling Danielle and Bree quietly leaves.

A few days later, Eddie is back at Bree's to finish his painting job. Bree stupidly tells Eddie that she wishes he had told her about Danielle. Eddie agrees, sarcastically saying that then Bree could have been the one to tell him Danielle was out of his league. Bree says she wouldn't have done that and she wouldn't have laughed at hm either. "The only thing I see when I look at you is a nice young man who isn't treated as well as he should be," says Bree. Eddie, almost crying, says he won't be talking to Danielle any more; he's been forbidden. Bree lies that Danielle would be happy to talk to him as a friend. "I don't want a friend!" says Eddie, openly crying. "I want someone to love me!" Okay, and this is officially the most depressing episode ever. Bree tells Eddie that there is someone out there for him and that he just has to be patient. "There are girls out there who will say yes to you," she tells him.

Cut to Eddie in a dark, creepy street, paying a prostitute. Oh, Eddie. The hooker starts to lead him to an alley so they can have sex, but Eddie stops at his car first to pull out a bouquet of flowers. Eddie might be the most pathetic character ever on this show and I would give him a pity hug if I didn't fear he would take it the wrong way and choke me to death. The whore starts laughing at him; Eddie asks her to stop, but she can't. At this moment, Eddie finally snaps and the next shot is of the hooker dropping dead on the ground.

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Susan stands in The Coffee Cup looking bored, and Mary Alice says, "Susan first noticed Eddie as the boy who sold her coffee." Really? She didn't know him from around the neighborhood or, let's say, Julie, who was just a year behind Danielle? Then again, this is Susan. Continue. "Then one Thursday, she noticed something more." Eddie is drawing a picture on the counter as Susan approaches and she compliments his a talent as an artist. Eddie quickly waves her off, saying he's just goofing around and asks Susan what he can get her. But no, Susan insists on seeing the picture, so she grabs it. It's a good likeness of the girl who sits nearby and Susan is obviously impressed. "My mom thinks I'm wasting my time," says Eddie. "She says there's lots of people way better than me." Susan disagrees, and tells Eddie to tell his mom that she says he has huge potential. Then, out of the blue, Susan offers to help him work on his technique. Grateful, Eddie offers Susan any drink she wants on the house.

Susan orders a latte and Eddie casually comments that "her husband" was in there earlier and ordered the same drink. It's now that we learn that this takes place after the divorce and, in fact, is far enough into the divorce that Mike's already dating Katherine. "Well if it makes you feel any better I'm sure lots of people would like to date you," says Eddie. "You have huge potential too." Somehow that doesn't ease Susan's pain.

Cut to another day. Susan examines a new work of Eddie's and as she praises it, it's clear that Eddie is enamored with her. Unaware of this, Susan tells Eddie she has a surprise for him: she signed him up for a two week seminar at the art institute. "This is like the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me," says Eddie truthfully, but he can't go. He says his mother would never let him. Susan says he has to go because he has a gift. Suddenly she spies Mike out the window, raking Katherine's lawn. "Listen to me. When you love something that much, you can't just let it go," she says. "That kind of love is the one thing that keeps us going whether it makes sense to anyone else or not." It's clear to everyone in the world but Eddie, that Susan is speaking on a second level about her and Mike. She gives Eddie a hug and judging by Eddie's face, he takes it entirely the wrong way.

Cut to a few weeks...months?...later. Eddie shows up at Susan's again with his portfolio of artwork. Susan yells for him to come in, and Eddie does, shouting to her excitedly about how amazing the art classes were. His joy is short-lived when Susan rushes down the stairs in her wedding dress. Susan announces that she's marrying Mike again, but Eddie doesn't understand since he "made [her] so unhappy." In typical Susan fashion, she recaps the whole Dave kidnapping scenario from last year's season finale and ends her story by saying that once Mike rescued her they fell "back in love." "This doesn't make any sense," says Eddie, not realizing that Susan forgot to add in the part about how they never actually fell out of love.

Susan crosses the kitchen and spies the eclairs Eddie brought, commanding him to take them away so she doesn't mess up her dress. "I can't believe in two hours I'll be marrying Mike and promising him I'll be with him forever," says Susan. "For the second time. Ooh, I have zero credibility." HA! That might be one of my favorite Susan lines ever, if only because it shows some level of self-awareness. Eddie tells Susan not to marry Mike, and Susan says, "Oh Eddie, I booked the church, I bought the dress. I have to marry somebody." Wow, that awareness was short-lived. "You could marry me!" Eddie exclaims, crying. Susan totally does not get it, even a little bit, and laughs, thinking Eddie is just joking around. She even thanks him for giving her a good laugh and kisses his cheek. Wow, I'm surprised he didn't kill her right then. Susan invites him to the wedding, grabs the eclairs and runs back upstairs to finish getting ready. Eddie opens his portfolio, takes out a drawing of Susan, and rips it in two.

Cut to Susan and Mike's wedding where they've just been announced man and wife. Everyone stands up and applauds except for Eddie, who sits in the last pew, shifting the shards of his drawing in his hands. Later that night, still holding the drawing, he skulks down Wisteria Lane to Susan's house. He spies Julie in the window and she comes outside to take out her trash, but from Eddie's angle it's impossible to tell that it's Julie. It could very well be Susan, which is what Eddie thinks. Overcome, he rushes to her and begins to choke her. Just as he's about to snuff out her life, Eddie gets a clear look at the woman he's strangling and realizes his mistake. He drops Julie to the ground and runs away.

In the hospital, Eddie sits by Julie's prone form holding a bouquet of flowers when Susan enters the room. She thanks Eddie for coming and then says she can't believe what happened. "I keep asking myself, how can there be this kind of evil in the world?" she continues. "What kind of monster would do this to her?" Poor Eddie (and who would have thought I'd type that phrase about a serial killer), looks on the verge of tears. "It wasn't a monster," he says. "A monster's big and strong. And this was done by some weak, insignificant piece of garbage who doesn't even deserve to be on this earth. Anyone who could do this to someone as sweet as Julie--and you--should just do everyone a favor and kill himself." Susan: "Anyone who did this is too cowardly for that." "You're right," Eddie realizes. Oh Eddie.

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Night. The Scavos are playing charades and Lynette "The Charades Ninja" Scavo is up. "It was during a Friday night game of charades that Lynette was clued in to the truth of Eddie's life," explains Mary Alice. A Friday night? And two of her three teenage sons are home playing charades with her and Tom and Penny? I'm amazed. Eddie, of course, is there too. Lynette makes signals for a three word movie, third word, and then gestures to herself. Tom: "You! You! Pregnant! Bloated! Swollen! Huge!" HA! "Lady, Tom. I'm a lady," she says as Parker chastises her for talking. "Better than hitting," says Lynette. Honestly, I'm quite impressed she restrained herself. Maybe because the children are there. Lynette starts gesturing again and Tom makes one guess after another that frustrates Lynette more and more (his last guess is "Tramp and the Lady." A little bit backwards there, Tom). Fortunately, Eddie is there to correctly jump in with "My Fair Lady" and save Tom from getting punched in the face.

The doorbell rings and Lynette calls out that she's coming, but it's slow going since she's pregnant, bloated, swollen and huge. And, actually, Felicity Huffman is doing a really good pregnant waddle for not really being pregnant. I'm impressed. Barbara is at the door and without pretense she barks out, "Where's my kid?" Lynette says that Eddie's inside and invites Barbara in; she says no, but then enters and yells at Eddie to come outside. Eddie instantly obeys, but Lynette and Tom also follow them outside.

Barbara demands to know why Eddie didn't answer her many calls. Tom says that it's probably their fault since charades was so zealous, but Barbara ignores him. She demands that Eddie come home. Poor Eddie tries to protest; Barbara doesn't care. "You should have thought of that before you hid my stuff!" she yells. At this point, Lynette tries to intervene, and Barbara snaps that Eddie hides her booze. "I know you hid it, you little bastard," she says, grabbing Eddie by the arm and giving him a good shove. Again, Lynette tries to butt in, but Eddie brushes her off. He offers to walk his mom home and they start down the street. Tom gives Lynette a wary look. It's obviously about what is occurring right now, but it also speaks volumes when put in the context of Lynette's own abusive, alcoholic mother. This is just such a poignant plot for their characters given Lynette's past.

"I don't think you should talk to your son that way," protests Lynette. Savagely, Barbara turns and hisses, "What do you care? Huh? What is he, your pet project? You feed him a little dinner, Lynette, and you let him play your stupid games so you can feel good about yourself? Yeah, I got your number." Lynette, for once in her life, is speechless, and can only watch as Barbara and Eddie hurry away.

Over at Eddie's house, the day that started this episode begins again, but this time we can see that Eddie is watching a mother and son out of his window. Then the scene calls back to Eddie and Barbara's conversation; if you'll recall, Eddie is heading over to the Scavos' to fix Lynette's car.

Cut to Lynette, who is outside watering her flowers when Eddie walks up and announces he's there to fix the car. Lynette thanks him and asks how things are at home. Eddie blanches and doesn't answer her question; he just asks where the tools are.

Back at Eddie's, Barbara breaks into his room.

Quick cut back to the Scavos', where Tom comes downstairs and greets Lynette, who sits at the kitchen table. Tom's looking for cake and finds a delicious looking one in the fridge that he pulls out and sits down at the table with to eat. It even has an Oreo on top. I want that cake. I will totally fight Tom for the last piece. Tom notices that Lynette's upset and asks what's up. "I keep thinking about last night," she says and Tom says he does too. "And I'm just so...livid," she continues. Tom: "Yep. Barbara is an infuriating woman." Lynette: "No. Tom, no. I am livid at us. The way she talked to Eddie and we did nothing." Tom points out that they can't force Barbara to be nice to her own kid. "That's what everybody always says," agrees Lynette. "But we all know the woman is a drunken nightmare. We complain about her, we gossip about her and then we watch her walk into that house where we know something bad is happening. But we do nothing!" Lynette's tea kettle starts to whistle and she gets up to attend to it, adding, "Well I'm tired of being one of the people who does nothing."

Tom mentions that Eddie's an adult and that he can leave whenever he wants. Tom has not yet touched that cake. He better look out; I am serious about fighting him for it. Oh, there's still a scene going on? Right. "He's probably so damaged he doesn't know how to leave," Lynette rightly observes. Tom gives a little sigh and rubs his hand over his face. "Where are you going with this?" he asks, though it's pretty clear that he knows.

Eddie returns home and finds his mother sitting on a chair with his scrapbook open on her lap. Eddie asks her what she's looking at and she says his scrapbook. "I don't understand, Eddie," she says as Eddie goes white. "There are all these newspaper articles in here about girls in Fairview who've been strangled or murdered. Why would you collect this stuff?" Rather calmly, Barbara stands and walks over to Eddie, asking him if he had anything to do with the attacks. Slowly, Eddie nods, and Barbara backs away from him in horror. "How could you do something like this?" she gasps. "I didn't raise you to be like this!" Eddie: "Didn't you?" Barbara is aghast that he would blame her, even though Eddie just tries to hand her a drink. Now fearing that Eddie is going to point the finger at her, she grabs the phone to call the police. "I always said the worst mistake I ever made was having you!" she snarls. Finally, Eddie snaps and bashes his mother over the head with the bottle of Scotch her brought her. Barbara gets up and attacks Eddie, who fights right back; the shot reveals the teddy bear Mary Alice brought Eddie all those years ago. It's a subtle but effective shot. Kudos to whoever directed this episode; he made some bold, interesting choices. Shown through the reflection off of a picture of young Eddie with his healthy mom, Eddie chokes his mother to death.

Freaking out, Eddie grabs his car keys and runs to the door only to find Lynette on the other side. "Mrs. Scavo! What are you doing here?" he asks. Lynette is all concerns since Eddie is obviously crying and trembling. Eddie says that he was just on his way out and Lynette says she'll make it brief. "Tom and I have been talking and we would like it if you move in with us," she says. I love Lynette so much for this even as I'm silently screaming at her not to bring a serial killer into her house. It's so horrifying and sweet at the same time; only this show could pull off that dichotomy. "I know it's a big change," says Lynette, "but you've gotta get out of here, Eddie. This isn't a healthy situation." "Yeah," agrees Eddie. "I guess it could be better."

Suddenly Lynette notices Barbara's prone form on the floor; all she can see is the back of her head and her arm. "Oh my God!" says Lynette as the music swells dramatically. "Is she passed out?" Eddie breathes a sigh of relief and says that she is. Lynette says this is exactly why he needs to get out of his house, so Eddie finally agrees to go with her. With a big smile, Lynette tells Eddie to pack up and come on over. She asks if he'd like help packing or for her to come back later to talk to his mother; Eddie declines both offers, surprise surprise. Lynette walks away and Eddie closes the door.

"There is a house in the town of Fairview," says Mary Alice. The camera cuts back inside to Eddie. "Inside this house lives a monster. The kind who kills women." Eddie drags his mother's body across the floor. "You may wonder how a monster like this came to be." In the bathroom, Eddie rips down the shower curtain and wraps his mother's body in it. "The answer is simple: monsters are created by other monsters." Eddie dumps his mother's body in the trunk of his car.



It is really hard for me to grade this episode this week. When I initially watched it, I had a viscerally negative reaction. The continuity really bothered me and I think that distracted me the entire time I watched it. However, the second time through I was able to look past some of that. The parts with Gaby moving in will never make sense, but I'm a little more accepting of Eddie's age. After all, I don't think they ever actually said that he is the same age as Danny and Porter and Preston, just that he hangs out with them. And as he is kind of a lonely soul, maybe it would make sense that he's spending time with guys five or six years younger than he is (although I don't quite get him and Porter and Danny all going to school together; that whole art institute plot sounded like his only post-high school education).

Overall the episode had some great drama and a few horrifying laughs. Mostly it was just really depressing which is an odd tone for this show. But I really liked the directing and the acting, so for that it gets some big points. I think on a stand-alone basis I'd grade it as a B+.

However, I would like to say a couple things in general about this show. First, this serial killer storyline is working a lot better than the main mystery of this season on every level. Putting the Scavos in the direct path of a crazy person is the best emotional drama I think this show has pulled out in a very long time. Probably since Orson's mom tried to kill Bree back in season three. The mysteries are much more interesting when the main characters are directly involved. Look at season five: the three high points of crazy Dave's story were the night club fire, Edie's death and kidnapping Susan and MJ, all of which had a direct connection to the main characters. The rest was rather lackluster. And the worst mysteries have been those involving the Applewhites and Katherine (and of course, the Bolens), which didn't directly involve any of the other women.

Second, I wish that this show would start doing one or two mini-mysteries per season instead of a big season-long arc. I think that part of the reason the mysteries become ineffective is because the build-up goes on for so long and then ends up boring and repetitive; by the time they get to the end no one cares any more. However, this strangler storyline (while it has covered the entirety of the season) might as well have been for half the season based on the number of episodes that focused on it. In that way, they've made it captivating without it being overdone. Again, I'd say that next to this the other really well done mystery story on this show was the Orson mystery of season three and that is in part due to the fact that it only lasted half of the season.

Third, I feel like they didn't need to devote an entire episode to Eddie's life. This show loves to finally do a big reveal of its mystery characters' pasts (every single season finale ends with a recap of how the mystery came to be--I guarantee that on May 16th we'll see flashbacks of Angie murdering that person/being caught in an explosion/whatever her deal is). But those moments are usually a couple of scenes, not an entire episode. Don't get me wrong, I think that the writers did a good job of fleshing Eddie out in this episode, but did they have to use an entire episode to do it? This episode was all about Eddie, not really about the girls at all, and I missed them this week. With the exceptions of Gaby and Lynette (who both had moments in which Eddie connected with their own problems/pasts), they were there only as props. I just feel like with only three episodes left, I was cheated a little. Maybe if this episode had been earlier I wouldn't feel the same, but this close to the end of the season it's a little disappointing.

All of that being said, though, I did enjoy this episode more than I initially thought. And I am really looking forward to the next three weeks. I have a feeling the end of this season is going to be great and I only hope that they keep up the momentum next season.

*Spoiler* Any guesses for which former regular will be back on May 16? I'm going with Zach Young. I read today that one of the couples will be selling their house in the season finale. I'd put my money on that being the Delfinos. Zach buying their house would just be ironic and kind of creepy. I can't wait to find out if I'm right.