DH recap: The Ballad of Booth

Season Six, Episode Twenty-Two: "The Ballad of Booth"

"Angie Bolen was having trouble sleeping," says Mary Alice as a camera pans up Angie's soundly sleeping form. Her big ass scar that has been MIA since the beginning of the season is visible. "She kept dreaming about her life and the choices she had made."

Swoosh into a dream/flashback (although, really, how reliable are someone's dreams as a telling of her life?). Angie sits in an advanced chemistry class where a professor lectures as Mary Alice says, "After all, it was her decision to drop out of college." Angie gets up and leaves. Cut to a group of raggedy looking hippies of whom I'm sure Bree would not approve. "It was her idea to join a group of eco-terrorists," says Mary Alice. Absolutely hilariously, John Barrowman is sitting in the group wearing the worst wig I've ever seen. He looks like a middle aged man dressed up as Justin Bieber for Halloween. It's amazing. Fortunately we don't have to see how they would have tried to make Drea de Matteo look younger because all of these "flashbacks" only show the back of her head. I guess that makes sense as it's her point of view.

Angie unhooks her bra and Patrick nods approvingly. Mary Alice: "She let herself fall in love with their charismatic leader." Let herself? Can you really stop yourself from falling in love? I guess you could just walk away, but that's hard when you're mixing business and pleasure. Or terrorism and sex. Anyway, Mary Alice has saved the best for last; as the camera shows Angie deftly working with wires, our intrepid narrator explains, "And she agreed to build him a bomb."

Back to present day Angie. "Angie knew her choices had been bad ones." The camera pans to reveal that Angie is handcuffed to a bed and Patrick sits beside her; her eyes flutter open. "How else could she have ended up here with a man who she despised?" Hmm. Stupidity comes to mind.

Patrick says good morning to Angie and mentions that he's been admiring her scar. "It is so beautiful," he says as Angie hastily pulls down her shirt to cover it. If only she'd had some Mederma. Insanely, Patrick doesn't understand why Angie would cover up her symbol of their accomplishment. "We killed a guy. I'm not so proud," she snaps. Patrick doesn't understand. They were saving the planet and in his eyes that's much more important than one human life. "Tell that to his wife!" she sasses. The music gets super dramatic and I expect something to happen, but Patrick just asks when Angie stopped loving him. She says that she never loved him, but guess what? Crazy Patrick thinks that she still loves him. Shocker! "Maybe if we made love you'd remember," he says. Ugh.

"We could. But you might not like it when I vomit into your mouth," says Angie. Oh snap! Patrick threatens to kill her and Angie summarizes what Mary Alice forgot in her previouslies: Patrick needs her for something. Turns out he wants another bomb. Well, greedy, greedy. Angie refuses. "Yes," Mary Alice interrupts. "Angie Bolen had made some bad choices in her life." Patrick reaches out and cups her cheek. "You're gonna be surprised by what I can make you do," he says threateningly. Mary Alice: "And she now had no choices left." Dun dun dun!

Wee little credits.

A sour looking man stands with his arms crossed as Mary Alice observes the obvious: "Detective John Booth was not happy." I tell you, her insight just gets more and more profound. The camera cuts to what Booth stares at--a bulletin board with pictures, stories and notes on all of the victims of the strangler. "You see, someone had been killing women in the town of Fairview and he hadn't a clue to who it was." Let's see...Eddie's first kill was about ten years ago or so. I'd have to say that's a little pathetic, John Booth. Also, what happened to the cops who were working on Julie's attack at the beginning of the season? Did they realize it was connected to these other cases and hand it over to John Booth? Am I over-thinking this? Yes? Okay. Moving on.

This next narration includes shots of everything Mary Alice describes: "For months he had poured over autopsy photos, read psychological profiles, and interviewed witnesses." Back to Booth still staring at the bulletin board. "But Detective Booth was still no closer to finding the killer. Until one day..." Booth walks away and answers a phone on his desk that was not ringing. Wow! He's a psychic detective and still can't solve the murders! That's sad. Booth has a brief conversation and then hangs up the phone. He turns to his partner and explains that some kids found a body in the woods; they have to go see if it fits the MO of their killer. If it doesn't they'll ignore it. Just kidding.

Cut to their killer digging in Lynette's garden. Lynette walks up to him and says they need to talk. Of course Eddie automatically assumes he's in trouble, but Lynette just wants to break the bad news that his mom has disappeared. She recaps why she knows this (the beginning of this episode has a LOT of recapping), and Eddie gets characteristically weepy-eyed. "Look, I'm sure that must sound like a big deal to you, but this has been going on my whole life. She's off on another bender. And in a week or two she'll come back like nothing ever happened," he lies. The sad thing is that all those lies are probably based in reality. Lynette asks if he's sure they don't need to call anyone; Eddie says that everything will be okay. "It's just a matter of time before she shows up," he says ominously.

Over at Gaby's, Carlos is about to leave on a business trip. "I wish you're weren't gonna be gone for your birthday," says Gaby. "The girls are going to be so disappointed." Carlos knows just how to cheer Gaby up: if he makes this deal the commission is forty grand. Sayonaro, Carlos. Gaby kisses him goodbye and promises to have his favorite dinner waiting when he returns. Carlos literally stops in his tracks and slowly turns to face Gaby. "That's okay, babe. We can just go out to dinner and celebrate," he says with a forced smile.

Suspicious, Gaby says, "But I make you lasagna every year." Carlos makes an excuse; Gaby glares; Carlos turns to leave. "Hold it!" yells Gaby. "You do like my lasagna, don't you?" Even though he's caught like a rat, Carlos insists he likes it. Too bad for him, he's doing "that thing [he] do[es] when [he] lies" and Gaby knows that he hates it. "I don't believe this! You've been eating my lasagna for eleven years!" she barks. Finally Carlos admits that a plant has been eating the lasagna for eleven years; fortunately it is thriving!

Carlos says he never wanted to hurt Gaby's feelings, but his stomach is too old and weak to go on with the lies. "Look, I'm sorry baby, you just don't make it the way Mama used to," he says. Talk about adding salt to the wound. "That's because your backstabbing mother didn't have the decency to give me the recipe before she died!" shouts Gaby. "She was run over by a car," says Carlos. Writing it out doesn't do justice to how Ricardo Antonio Chavira delivers the line, unfortunately. Carlos tries to console Gaby by saying that he loves her guacamole and turns to leave for the third time. Gaby shouts after him that she buys that at the store. Carlos: "Like only you can!" He makes his escape.

Susan is still going through Mike's financial records. Mike asks if she's figured out his financial mess yet. He's lucky Susan doesn't throw something at his head. I would. Poor Susan is confused because the payments he's received don't cover half of what he's billed. "That's 'cause not everybody's paid," says Mike. Susan asks why and Mike tells her that they didn't have the money. Remember that part of Gone with the Wind where Scarlett makes Frank Kennedy collect on his credit so they aren't losing money and Ashley disapproves? Well in this scenario Mike is Frank Kennedy and Ashley all wrapped up into one wimpy man and Susan is going to try desperately to be Scarlett.

"Honey, I love that I married a guy who wants to unclog the world's toilets for free, but now it's time that people pay the piper for the pipes," says Susan. Mike, honest to God, rolls his eyes at her. I don't know whether to admire Susan for being so patient and understanding or pity her for putting up with this fool. It's probably a little of both. Mike refuses to do it so Susan says she will. "You? How are you gonna do it?" demands Mike. Susan's going to tell them her sob story, gain sympathy and get the money. Mike doesn't think it will work. Instantly Susan starts to "cry" and worry about how they're going to pay for everything. Mike tries to console her. Head up and perky, Susan asks, "So you think it will work?" Mike: "Wow, you're scary." He agrees that Susan can try to get their money back. How big of him.

The Van de Kamps are having a family pow-wow about Sam. Andrew isn't scared of Sam and says that he'll fire him right now if Bree wants. Go Andrew! Bree doesn't want to provoke Sam, though, because he's violent. "We're not intimidated, are we Orson?" asks Andrew. Orson's eyes widen and he says, "Just...how violent are we talking?" Andrew: "Hey! We'll do whatever it takes to protect Mom!" Remember when Andrew tried to rescue Bree from Orson's murderous mother? I love when he gets all kick-ass.

"Okay," agrees Orson. "But I am in a chair. I don't know how good I'd be in a fight. This thing tips over in a stiff wind." Hee! Bree reassures Orson that there won't be any need to fight, but to further prove his point, Orson wheels directly into Andrew's legs. "Did that hurt?" he asks. It didn't, so Orson throws up his hands in defeat. That's his only move. Hey, don't underestimate the power of a crotch shot, Orson. You're right at that level. If Sam's standing...Pow!

"You don't need to fight, Orson," says Bree. "You're more of a strategist." Andrew sees that his plan to fight isn't going to fly so he moves on to plan B: hire someone to rough up Sam. Man, I love Andrew. He and Lynette are two peas in a pod, aren't they? Remember when she wanted to get immigration to rough up Irina a few weeks ago? I kind of wish there'd be another plot that would team those two up together. Or face them off against one another. I'd take either. Bree, sadly, doesn't want to rough Sam up either. Orson suggests paying him off. "Yes!" agrees Bree. "He's always talking about how he never had anything growing up." Poor Andrew looks disappointed, especially when Bree calls the idea brilliant. "You call writing a check brilliant?" he asks as he stands. Orson rolls into him again; "Anything?" he asks. Go for the crotch, Orson!

Later, Lynette comes into her house and sets down some stuff. From the open door, the intrepid detectives ask if they can come in. "Sure. What's this about?" asks Lynette a little nervously. I mean, really, has it ever been a good thing when the cops show up at her door? They ask if she knows Irina. "Oh. Unfortunately, yeah," says Lynette. Her whole tone changes from anxious to understanding. "Whatever you think she did, she did." The detectives aren't sure what Lynette means. "She's a conniving, manipulative little grifter who put my son through hell," she tells them. Booth: "She's dead."

In a matter of seconds, Lynette's face goes through a whole range of emotions from disbelief to horror. "What? Are you serious?" she asks. They tell her that Irina was murdered. Just then, Tom steps into view from the other side of the stairs near the kitchen. "What's going on?" he asks. The most Lynette can get out is that the cops are there about Irina. Tom walks over to her, saying, "Oh boy! That didn't take long. That little bitch couldn't even get out of the country before she--" Lynette leans up to whisper that Irina is dead. "--was taken from us too soon," Tom finishes weakly.

The cops want to know if Preston is home, but he's off camping with Porter. Tom thanks them for coming by to tell them, not understanding that the cops want to talk to Preston. "Wait, you don't think that he had anything to do with this?" asks Lynette. She's come full circle back to nervousness. Booth says that they found a letter Irina wrote to Preston and that it sounds like things ended badly. "Well yeah, he broke off the engagement, but he wouldn't do that and then kill her. It's an extra step. Wouldn't you just skip the break-up and get right to the killing?" Lynette babbles. And I really mean babbles. She delivers that more like one run-on sentence. Tom: "Why won't you stop talking?" Lynette: "I want to, believe me!" Hee!

Lynette steps past Tom out of the shot and the detectives give Tom their card so Preston can call them. They open the door to leave, but Lynette can't help but to tell them that Preston isn't their murderer. "You guys should concentrate on finding the real killer," she says. The detectives say that's exactly what they plan to do. Lynette and Tom exchange a worried look and the camera swings up the stairs behind them to show that Eddie listened in on the entire conversation.

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The bomb building plot is progressing nicely. Patrick has either brought or found in Angie's house a whole bomb making kit and spread it out over the kitchen table. "Brings back memories, doesn't it?" he asks cheerfully. Angie reiterates that she won't build the bomb and Patrick tells her she doesn't have to start today because he's still waiting on one more piece. She still says no, so he tries to appeal to her environmental outrage: some developers in Oregon are going to cut down 4000 acres of old trees and they need to stop them. "And who cares if we kill a few loggers in the process, right?" she asks. Patrick: "Saving the world's messy. You used to be able to see that." Angie: "You know what I see now? A fake." She says that Patrick is only in it for himself which, of course, gets him all pissy. I'm not sure if this is a plan or she's just antagonistic. Anyway, Patrick says that he wants to save the world and he wanted to save Angie. She shouts that Nick saved her, which is exactly the wrong thing to say.

"Do you really wanna start talking about Nick right now? Huh?" Patrick demands as he grabs Angie's face and shakes her. "How does it feel knowing you'll never be half the man he is?" she asks. It would be a lot easier to be on Angie's side about this if Nick hadn't cheated on her with his son's crush. Personally I think he's scuzzy too. Just as Patrick gears up to yell or smack or kill Angie, they're interrupted by a knock at the door. It's Gaby. Patrick signals for Angie to be quiet, but she says that Gaby won't go. Gaby confirms this by shouting that she won't go. Heh. Patrick says that Angie has one minute to get rid of Gaby or he'll kill her.

Angie yells for Gaby to come in. Gaby's there because she wants a lasagna recipe for Carlos. I hope Bree never finds out about this. As she enters, she notices Patrick and introduces herself; Patrick lies and says he's Angie's brother. Angie scurries off to get the recipe and that's when Gaby notices the bomb materials. Patrick says that Angie is pumping up his remote. "Oh, you know how to do that?" asks Gaby. Patrick: "Sure. She was an engineering major in college." Before she dropped out. Gaby teases that she has an appliance at home that could use more power and she'll tell Patrick which one after she knows him better. Ew.

Finally, Angie has the recipe. Tellingly, Gaby asks if she can use sauce from a can instead of fresh tomatoes. Angie starts to get worked up about this, but Patrick waves a gun behind Gaby's head and she changes gears and starts to rush Gaby out. "Oh and a little word of advice," Gaby calls to Patrick as she's leaving. "Never compare your wife to your dead mother if you want to get laid on your birthday." HA! Angie shuts the door. "You know how to make a bomb and you haven't used one on her yet?" asks Patrick. "I admire your restraint."

Bree sits at her desk doing paperwork when Sam comes into the room. She tells him to take a seat and asks if he knew that Rex set up trust funds for Danielle and Andrew; he didn't. Bree: "Well he wanted to be sure they had a nest egg to draw from in case something happened to him. Which it did." HA! Sam asks why Bree is telling him this and Bree says that Rex seems to have forgotten he had three children. She hands Sam a check and we only get to imagine the amount. "That's a lot of money," says Sam. Calmly, Bree says that it's her way of apologizing for Rex's poor memory and then she stands in what seems to be a sign of dismissal. Sam stands as well.

Slowly, Bree walks to the door while saying how much she appreciates everything Sam did for her and the company. "Truly, I wish you the very best," she says. Sam: "That sounds like a goodbye." Bree: "Well, now that you have all this money you don't need to work here. A young man with your skills should feel free to go out into the world and make his mark." Nice one, Bree. She's pretty good at this bribery thing. "But I like it here," says Sam so sadly that I kind of feel bad for him. "Well unfortunately I no longer need you," says Bree. "You see, Andrew and I have made up and I'm giving him your job." Which was originally Andrew's anyway. Nice. She tells him not to be angry because it's a family business. "But I'm part of the family," says Sam. "Not really," she says, completely contradicting how she's been carrying on for the past several weeks. Look, don't get me wrong, Sam is obviously nuts and untrustworthy, but this is the main reason that Bree bothers me. She's loyal beyond all common sense until the person crosses her and then he's out on his ass. She's done it with every single member of her family. She doesn't forgive and she doesn't abide mistakes, but then when she messes up she expects everyone to bend over backwards to appease her. Honestly, Bree wouldn't be Bree without this characteristic, but it doesn't mean that I find her likable when she acts this way. And here, once again, Bree is missing the whole point; it's not just the money for Sam--it's the name and the prestige and the family too. He proves this by ripping the check to shreds.

"You can't buy me off," he says. "I belong here. I'm a Van de Kamp." Except he totally ruins it by pronouncing the name as Van dee Kamp, so instead of taking him seriously I just laugh and laugh and laugh. "And if you ever insult me again, you're going to wish you hadn't," he finishes. I can't get worked up because I'm still laughing.

Susan approaches a man raking his yard and introduces herself. The man says some nice things about Mike and Susan uses it to segue into Mike being too proud to say his business is in trouble. "So we're gonna need you to pay your bill for the work he completed four months ago," she says. "I wish I could, but it's a bad time," says the man. He's obviously underestimating Susan's pent-up rage over Mike's recent bout of doucheness. She launches into her waterworks-filled, pity me speech, but the man couldn't care less (he even says that kids bounce back when Susan mentions that MJ might get injured and not have insurance). His indifference throws Susan over the edge, but he just starts to go on and on about all his financial woes. I'll give Susan credit, she even offers a payment plan that the man dismisses before she finally loses it completely. "You owe me money and I'm not gonna rest until I get it!" she shouts. "I am going to make sure everyone in your life knows what a deadbeat you are! When you go to work tomorrow, I'll be there! When you go bowling with your buddies, I'll be there! And when you go to the video store to get your porn--" Finally, the man acquiesces and says he'll write Susan a check. I hate to say it, but good for Susan!

Susan's satisfaction with this first client leads to a series of bullying maneuvers to collect money. Next up is a woman in an unfortunate floral top with a sweeping collection of Hummels. After she makes a series of excuses, Susan picks up one of the figurines and starts casually tossing it around, making the woman so nervous that she finally agrees to pay Susan. After her is an older woman who is babbling to Susan while she files her nails. When she finally finishes her spiel, Susan mentions that she has a nice watch. Susan smiles evilly and I'm once again terrified by her face. Why, why, why did Teri Hatcher do that to herself?

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Susan arrives home with her booty--cash and a big bag of collectibles that includes a sterling silver menorah--and presents it to Mike. He's astonished that she pulled it off, but Susan is pretty damn proud of herself. "What happened to batting your eyes and shedding a few tears?" asks Mike as Susan grabs a beer from the fridge. Susan says that playing the victim got her no where. "And then all of a sudden, I snapped," Susan explains. "Rage just started pouring out of me. It was like my inner bully had been released. And one by one I brought those deadbeats to their knees! For the first time in my life I have gotten a taste of power and you know what? I like it." Through her entire speech, Susan struggles to open her beer bottle until Mike finally opens it for her. Susan is so empowered that she wants to go upstairs and have bully sex. Ha! Mike is less than enthused, but it's not because of Susan. It's because the IRS sent them a notice; he shows Susan. All of her hard work was for nothing because they're never going to collect enough money to pay off their debts in time. Surprisingly, Susan's new attitude makes her think that she'll be able to change their fate and she marches off to come up with a plan.

Later, she and Mike are in the office of an IRS agent. "The way I see it," says Susan, "the IRS is a government agency and the government only exists because of the taxes that we pay. So that makes me your boss. And as your boss I am telling you that we need an extension. Do I make myself clear?"

Cut to Mike and Susan driving home in the infamous truck that started it all. "I am a terrible bully," Susan sighs. Mike agrees. She goes on to say that the agent didn't need to tack on all of those extra penalties--something Mike knew might happen, by the way--but she obviously regrets what she said. She asks what they should do. Mike, shockingly, has no good ideas. Staring out the window, Susan looks--really looks--at her house and her face lights up in recognition of an option. She turns to Mike and says, "We've got the house."

Back at the Van de Kamps, Bree pours tea while wearing a really unfortunate yellow suit. It's terrible. Sam enters the house and Bree beckons him into the living room to meet her friends, a couple of retired police officers. The cops force Sam into the room and wedge him onto the couch between them. They're beefy guys, so Sam looks comically squished between them. Bree says that the guys were just regaling her with tales of their days on the force and asks them to repeat a story for Sam. "About the guy who was hassling the nice lady?" one of them asks pointedly.

They launch into a story about a guy who slyly threatened a woman so the cops couldn't do anything about it. Then they begin to reminisce about all the things they would have liked to do to the guy: smash a phone book into his Adam's apple, dislocate his fingers, etc. They end by saying that if the situation came up again they'd hope that the threat of those things would be enough. Sam obviously gets the picture and nervously dismisses himself. The cops ask if he wants a ride home and one of them even mentions Sam's address specifically. Nice. Sam leaves. Bree: "I don't know why tea parties have fallen out of fashion. They're so much fun!"

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Lynette is on the phone with Porter encouraging him to keep Preston's spirits up. She tells him to drive safely and blows a kiss into the phone before hanging up; it's really sweet. Behind her, Eddie skulks down the stairs with his bag packed. He tells Lynette he's moving back home for a little while so her family can be together to deal with Irina's death in private. "To be honest, I already think of you as family," says Lynette. Eddie is a little embarrassed by all this unprecedented affection, but Lynette says that Eddie was in her will after he took out the trash on his first day there. Ha! She says that he should stay, but Eddie makes a new excuse: he wants to be there to help out his mom when she gets back from her bender. This Lynette understands; she even goes so far as to say that Barbara is lucky to have Eddie. Eddie looks horrifically guilty. "You know," says Lynette, "once you make sure she's okay you can always come back." That's extremely generous of her considering she's about to have seven people in four bedrooms. Although, I guess she's been there before. Eddie says that he doesn't think that will happen and heads toward the door.

"Is something wrong?" asks Lynette. "Did you not like it here?" Eddie quickly reassures her that it was fantastic, but he's still really jumpy and obviously wants to leave. Lynette asks if she can hug him goodbye and Eddie embraces her. For a second I really expected him to feel the baby move or something to reinforce that, if nothing else, Lynette truly has an innocent life dependent on her, but he just says, "I can't help thinking, I would have turned out so different if you were my mom." Lynette pulls away and tenderly touches his face for a second; it's a very motherly gesture. Then Eddie leaves. Lynette looks disappointed.

Sometime later, the girls are all together in Susan's kitchen. They're all in different outfits, so presumably this is another day. Susan has just broken the news that she and Mike are moving off the Lane. They're not going to sell the house, though, just rent it out. "I don't care! Either way you're not living here," says Gaby. She slaps Lynette's shoulder. "Lynette, say something! You're very persuasive." Ha! "I...I don't understand why you have to do this," is the best that Lynette can come up with under pressure. Susan explains that she and Mike are having financial problems, that they'll be fine but they need to do this to get back on their feet. Cutely, Bree announces that they get out their checkbooks and all three ladies reach for their bags. Susan quickly stops them. "I love you for that," she says, "but no. We got ourselves into this, we can get ourselves out." She tells them that they're moving into an apartment near the school that's close by, so they'll still see each other. Gaby is skeptical since most people say that, but then it doesn't happen. "Well I mean it," says Susan. She, Gaby and Lynette clasp hands. I wonder if that's the last scene between the girls for this season.

Angie is sleeping handcuffed to the bed again when someone creeps into the room. The mysterious person shakes Angie's shoulder and she kicks him in the stomach. He falls to the floor and then turns around; it's Danny. Angie is horrified to see him. He says that she sent him a text message telling him to hurry home. "Oh God, that wasn't me. Danny, get out of the house now!" Too late. Patrick enters the room and flicks on the light. "Remember that piece I said was missing?" he asks as he holds a gun to Danny's head. "It just arrived."

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The next day, Bree stands at her kitchen sink doing the dishes and humming. I swear she's wearing the same outfit she had on at Susan's before which makes the timing of this a little off. This scene probably should have been before the one with Angie and Danny. Anyway, Sam stands in the background watching her work and he startles her by saying, "So I've been thinking." Astonishing feat, I know. Bree asks why he's there, but Sam ignores this to go on about how effective threats are. "Get out," orders Bree. "I will," says Sam. "But not before we do a little business." He wants her to sign over her company to him; everything: the cookbooks, the catering business, the frozen food line, etc. "Are you insane?" asks Bree. "Why would I do that?"

Sam begins to reminisce about the family dinner they had many moons ago, going on and on about how Danielle had too much to drink (actually implying that she's an alcoholic, which would be a fascinating storyline if Danielle were still around) and spilled some family secrets. It turns out that she told him all about Andrew's hit and run, a fact that I have been waiting eons to come back into the picture. And it totally explains the throwaway line earlier about the car accident. Brilliant. Sam threatens to tell the cops and Carlos what happened if Bree doesn't do as he says. "So, should we draw up the papers now or wait until morning?" This is fantastic. I really hope that they don't neatly resolve this next week by having Angie's bomb blow up Sam or something. Even though the prospect of a Solis feud with another neighbor is a little tedious, at least this one would be well justified. Not to mention that I've wanted to see Orson's reaction to this secret for years now! Awesome. Simply awesome.

Back at Angie's, Danny is tied to a chair. Patrick has apparently finished telling Danny the whole story and I'm just grateful I didn't have to listen to it again. "I don't believe you," says Danny. Patrick: "Look, I just want you to know that when you're ready, I want us to have a traditional father son relationship." HA! That, more than anything else, just showed how bonkers Patrick is. "Are you serious?" asks Danny. Patrick cracks up; "I know. That sounded ridiculous." Still, he promises that once he's taken care of business he'll untie Danny and they can get to know one another. How sweet. I'd love to see that spinoff show. They could travel the country blowing things up and acting insane. Danny doesn't share my enthusiasm; he just threatens to kill Patrick. Patrick says that eventually Danny will realize he's mad at the people who spent twenty years lying to him, not the man who spent twenty years looking for him. He leaves the room.

In the kitchen, Angie is diligently working on the bomb when Patrick enters the room. They make some predictable small talk about how Angie will kill Patrick if he hurts Danny, blah blah blah. "So, how's my bomb coming?" asks Patrick. Angie says that it will go faster if she can use two hands (she handcuffed again) and Patrick actually agrees to release her. Just then, Gaby enters the house uninvited and calls out to Angie. Patrick tells Angie that she has twenty seconds to get rid of Gaby and they hurry into the foyer.

It turns out that Gaby is there to get Angie to sample her lasagna. Patrick tries to get Gaby to leave by promising that Angie will try it later, but Gaby insists that it be now. Angie hurries into the kitchen to cut a piece and in a brilliant move writes a little note to stick in the remaining lasagna. Out in the foyer, Gaby's showing Patrick cell phone pictures from her modeling days. It's hilarious; Patrick looks like he wants to kill himself. Back in the kitchen, Angie sticks the note into the lasagna and turns around only to find Patrick standing behind her. "I'm about to kill your neighbor," he says. "You might wanna get her out of here." Angie heads back to Gaby and tells her that she did a great job, but when she forces Gaby to take the rest of the dish back, Gaby thinks she's lying to protect her feelings.

A minute later, Gaby arrives home with the lasagna and brings it into the kitchen where Juanita is doing her homework. With a sigh, Gaby tosses her dish in the trash.

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Tom, Lynette and Porter wait at the police station while Preston is questioned by the cops. Lynette nervously roots through her purse, taking things out and reorganizing her belongings. "Honey, do you really think this is the time to be cleaning out your purse?" asks Tom. Lynette shoots him a dirty look and says, "Our son is being interrogated for murder. I have a lot of rage in me. Would you rather I channel it into this or you?" Tom: "I'd put the emergency tampon in the zipper pouch." Hee!

Preston walks out and Porter eagerly asks, "Pres, how'd it go?" Preston says that they just wanted to confirm the timeline that he was in Europe because they think that whoever killed Irina also killed the other girls. Everyone is relieved. I am relieved to see that Preston shaved. "Are you okay?" asks Tom. "I just keep thinking that Irina would still be alive if I hadn't brought her here," says Preston. He leaves. Lynette tries to call after him, but Porter tells her to let him go and to give him some time. Tom agrees and says that he and Porter should take Preston out for a game of pool and see if he wants to talk. The twins, particularly Porter, have really matured this season, haven't they? I mean, not completely, but significantly compared to season five. Tom and Porter leave as well and Lynette sits back down to gather up the contents of her purse. Did they drive two cars or what?

Nearby, two cops begin a conversation about how they found another body. One says that he thinks it's Barbara Orlofsky, the woman they often throw in the drunk tank. Overhearing this, Lynette is obviously upset and it's clear what she's going to do before she even stands up.

Night at the Solises'. Gaby turns on the light in the kitchen to find that Juanita and Celia have dug her lasagna out of the trash for a midnight snack. "Oh my God! What are you doing?" demands Gaby. Juanita explains. "So you picked it out of the trash? You're worse than raccoons!" Hee! Gaby asks them what they think and Celia makes a terrible face. Affronted, Gaby insults the French toast they made her for mother's day. Then Celia spits out the note. HAHA! "What the heck is that?" asks Gaby, reaching for the note and opening it. Angie wrote: "Danny and I held hostage. No cops. Get Nick." Succinct. Gaby's eyes widen in horror.

Cut to Eddie's house, where Eddie is packing furiously. There's a knock at the door and Lynette enters before waiting for an invitation. She says she's there about his mom, but before she can get into details, Eddie blurts out that he just talked to her on the phone. He says that she's in Florida with his uncle and he's going to go down there and see if they can get her into rehab. Relieved, Lynette sits down on the couch. "Oh thank God," she says as Eddie heads toward the door. "They must have gotten the name wrong." Eddie freezes and slowly turns around.

"What are you talking about?" he asks. Lynette says that she was just at the police station and that they found another body that they said was Eddie's mom's. Instead of leaving, Eddie just says, "Oh" and stares at Lynette. "But," she says, standing and walking over to Eddie, "you just talked to her, right? They made a mistake." Unable to go along with this, Eddie just stares into space with a sad, teary look in his eyes. It seems that he's finally reached his breaking point; he's going to confess. He drops his bag to the floor. Lynette draws in a deep breath of horrified recognition. "You didn't just talk to her," she says in an eerily calm but completely terrified voice. "And your mom's not in Florida, is she?" Eddie stares at her sadly. "I really wish you hadn't come here," he says, and it's all the confirmation Lynette needs.

"People make choices every day," says Mary Alice as Eddie locks his front door. "And those choices are what define us." Cut to Mike asleep in his bed as Susan strokes his shoulder. "Some of us choose to be loyal, though we're angry and hurt." Over at the Bolens', Patrick is redoing the knots on Danny's chair. "Some of us choose to be brave, though we're frightened out of our minds." Bree is looking at a framed picture of her and Sam. Well, that just further shows how Bree changes sides with the flip of a coin. "Others choose to strike out when they could have walked away." That one confuses me. I think Bree is the one striking out, but how could she have walked away? Unless she decided to turn over Andrew instead of her business, but I can't believe Bree would do that. Especially because she'll be in trouble too. Whatever, Mary Alice.

Back at Eddie's, Eddie backs Lynette onto the couch and slowly begins to flip down all of the blinds on the windows. It's super creepy. "But what about those poor people who are trapped by circumstance?" asks Mary Alice. The shot switches to outside the window to the last shot is of Lynette's face before Eddie flips the last set of blinds closed. "What happens to those who have no choices left?"

Well that episode has to be the most suspenseful one this show has done in a long while. Although I know I'm biased because Lynette is my favorite, I think that in a way it's much more suspenseful to have her in danger in the finale than any of the other women. Let's be frank here, we all know that this show won't kill off any of the girls and it's very unlikely that the husbands would go either. I'd even say that the kids are off limits because although this show does drama well, I can't imagine that they could kill off one of the kids and be able to have the characters move on from that kind of grief. But we all know that miscarriage is a whole other game--there have already been two on this show--and so it's really the fact that there's an unborn child in this situation that makes it a whole other game. I'd like to believe that they wouldn't be so cruel as to kill both of Lynette's babies, but I can't put it entirely outside the realm of possibility, especially if they don't want to be saddled with a baby for the rest of the series. And that is what makes it suspenseful.

On top of that, I'm actually really excited about the Bree plot of this show for the first time in a long time. This episode did a great job of building up the tension between her and Sam. Although I don't care about the Bolens, I'm glad Gaby's at the center of the mystery for once. I think it's the first time in six seasons. Even Susan and Mike moving off the Lane is something different and I think that will be a refreshing change of pace for them. It's nice to see them have a storyline that isn't in the center of the mystery. Overall I would give this episode an B+. It's really building toward the climax next week, but I'll be interested to see how it holds up after that. I don't know if it will be as powerful after the suspense of what is coming next is gone. Actually, it might have worked better if the two episodes were combined into a long finale like season two's "Remember." I guess I'll have to wait and see what happens next week.