DH recap: Truly Content

Season Seven, Episode Three: "Truly Content"

Tom sits on his porch looking very glum but fetching in a daring paisley print tie. Never one to hesitate to state the obvious, Mary Alice says, "Tom Scavo was depressed, and his wife had done everything she could to cheer him up." The camera pulls back to reveal Lynette standing in the doorway looking gravely concerned. Whenever they do exterior shots into the Scavo house like this I'm always distracted by how the shot doesn't match their actual interior. But there's no time to be distracted because Mary Alice is already explaining the ways in which Lynette tried to cheer Tom up. She made his favorite meals, told her funniest jokes, and put on her sexiest lingerie. Each of these points is illustrated by a visual example while Tom just stares with that same mopey expression on his face. Clearly, none of it worked.

"Finally, Lynette insisted her husband go to the doctor," says Mary Alice as Lynette approaches Tom and hands him car keys and a business card. Tom doesn't look happy about this. Later, Tom arrives home and hands Lynette a prescription ("For trouble," Mary Alice informs us. She's so clever). As Tom heads up the stairs, Lynette is dismayed to see that the doctor prescribed anti-anxiety medication. Tom says that the doctor told him it would help, but Lynette isn't convinced, seeing that the doctor only spent twenty minutes with him. "I need this medicine," Tom firmly insists, obviously forgetting who he's talking to. Lynette says that those medicines scare her (although I have seen them do wonders for people), but Tom tells her he has to do something. "I am so tired of feeling this way," he says pitiably. Depression is the worst.

Lynette tries to tell Tom that he's gone through rough patches before and pulled through just fine, but he's not having it. He tells her that she doesn't know what it's like inside of his head, turning to run up the stairs. Not giving up, Lynette bounds after him (so they're both standing on the landing which is a really unusual place for them to have a scene) and apologizes profusely. She does, however, have another suggestion: going to see a holistic doctor that Susan once saw. Tom is skeptical, but Lynette insists. "Whatever he says, I'll go with it," she says. Well, that spells certain doom like nothing I've ever heard. Tom just looks at her sadly and goes upstairs.

A day or two later, Lynette is putting the baby down for a nap when Tom comes home in a much more jovial mood. He saw the new doctor and loved him. Lynette is thrilled until she finds out that Dr. Feelgood prescribed medicinal marijuana for her husband. Cue the anvils of irony falling on her head. "Yes," says Mary Alice. "Tom Scavo had been battling depression. But he was now facing a much bigger battle with his wife."

Wee little credits.

"Happiness: it's something we all want," says Mary Alice as the camera pans down a positively hopping Wisteria Lane. "And so we search for it." Well that's profound. Over at the Solises', Celia (long time no see!) licks an ice cream cone. "Little girls find it in the taste of chocolate," our intrepid narrator continues. Meanwhile, Bob pulls out a snazzy new shirt and admires it. "Well-dressed men discover it at their local mall." Outside of the Scavos', Parker is chatting up some beautiful blonde girl. "Teenage boys experience it when talking to a pretty girl." We sum up this little expedition through the neighborhood with Susan, Lynette and Bree (muffin basket in hand), heading over to Paul's house. "And then there are housewives, who simply can't be happy until they've learned everything they can about the newest neighbor on the block." Oh Mary Alice, I do so love your generalizations.

Beth opens the door, positively beaming at the girls. I have to take a moment to question Lynette's shirt--it seriously looks like something she stole from Parker's closet. Very bizarre. Anyway, Bree lies that they're sorry to interrupt, but they wanted to welcome her to the neighborhood. She introduces Lynette and Susan, who Beth quickly realizes is her landlady. Susan is immediately sidetracked by the idea that Beth might have nailed pictures to the wall, but Bree forces her to remain on task by inviting Beth to their weekly poker game. Beth says she doesn't know how to play, but Susan tells her that they'll teach her (and then is promptly distracted by the possible ruin of her hardwood floors). This time, Lynette cuts her off, saying that while they're teaching Beth, they'll get to learn all about her. Cue Paul coming down the stairs behind Beth.

"Aw, that sounds fun!" says Beth as the girls notice Paul and get antsy. Bree calmly dismisses herself and the girls, Beth shuts the door, and Paul asks what the girls wanted. Beth explains, saying the girls were just being friendly. "On this street, never confuse being nosy with being friendly," he says. Word.

"Do you not want me to go?" asks Beth pitiably. Of course Paul wants her to go; he's going to use her as a spy (not that he tells her that in so many words). The most he tells her is that in time her friendship with them will be useful. Beth, understandably, is confused.

Over at Irresponsible Hospital, Jack pushes some legal papers toward Carlos and Gaby while cautioning them that they might want to read them first. "Why? Did a nurse get drunk and swap them with a different document?" snaps Carlos. Appropriately subdued, the hospital bigwig who is also there sums up that by signing it, Carlos and Gaby are waving their rights to bring legal action against the hospital. Carlos reminds him that by signing it, the hospital is agreeing to call off their search for the other family. Now that everyone is in agreement, Carlos jots his signature and shoves the papers toward Gaby. When she doesn't immediately jump at them, he says, "Babe, we talked about this. We don't know how this other family will react and we need to protect Juanita." Maybe you should just force her to sign like you did with that post-nup back in season one. Just reminding everyone now that Carlos can be one scary dude.

"Gabrielle, I can only imagine how you must feel," says Jack. Bad move, buddy. Gaby finally snaps to life, barking, "You can't begin to imagine how I feel! The only person who could is the woman who has my daughter." I can't even begin to describe the anguish and anger that Eva Longoria Parker puts into those lines; I have never heard Gaby speak so harshly. Finally, Gaby agrees to sign, if only to spare the other woman "this pain." And so she scribbles out her name.

Also upset: Bree. But for very different, less devastating reasons. Keith finished painting her dining room yellow; Bree doesn't love it, though she lies about that fact at first. "It's just so yellow," she protests. Keith tells her she'll grow to love it, especially as no one will even notice the color when she's in the room. Nice line, bud. Mercifully, the doorbell rings.

The second Bree opens the door, Renee snaps, "I hear you're getting divorced," and waltzes right into Bree's home. "I'm getting divorced too," Renee continues. "Since we both need guys, I'm thinking we should hang." Bree: "I don't know how much Lynette has told you about me, but I'm not really one for hanging." HA! Truer words were never spoken. Renee points out that one woman at a bar is sad; two is a girl's night out. Unsurprisingly, Bree isn't so sure, but Renee continues to insist, even telling Bree to let down her hair ("That hair does come down, doesn't it?"). Bree says that's not how she likes to meet men--another very true statement, although I doubt that she'll be doing another stint in the loony bin any time soon. Renee says that Bree can't expect to meet men just sitting around the house, but, with a sly look at Keith, Bree says that she'd be surprised. "You've met someone already?" asks Renee. Bree shrugs this off with a coy, "Maybe." "Well," huffs Renee, heading for the door, "a beautiful, classy woman who can get a man without leaving the house. I don't see us being friends." There are a lot of reasons I don't see you being friends, actually.

Ugh. Susan is once again doing her sexy housecleaning. Seriously, I don't know what the writers were smoking when they came up with this plot, but it is not endearing or funny. Ignoring my feelings, Susan simply vacuums off her apron and saucily jokes that she needs to sign off before she's completely naked. Then she presses her boobs right into the computer monitor and shuts off her webcam. Seconds later there's a knock at the door; it's Maxine, who is there with a bonus check for Susan. Yeah, turns out that Susan had the most hits that month. Uh-huh. Whatever. Maxine mentions (exposition alert!) that Susan ousted Stacy Strauss from the number one position, but Susan is too distracted by the money. She claims that she and Mike are finally starting to save a little cash. Good. Save up and move out of this dumbass plot. I'm over it. Maxine tells Susan to remember to treat herself, and then gleefully leaves after Susan mentions that she'll be mopping in bikini briefs the next day. Good grief.

Back at Bree's, she and Keith have moved outside and she's impressing him with a sandwich. Okay, really, where is Bree getting all the money for this (the remodel, not the sandwich)? As I recall, she didn't sell her business to Sam, she just handed it over. And Orson certainly doesn't have cash. In fact, she probably owes him alimony. So what gives? My questioning aside, Bree continues to blather about the sandwich and how depressing it is just to cook for one, but before she can work up the nerve to actually ask Keith out, his girlfriend pulls up and runs toward him.

"You have a girlfriend?" breathes Bree, clearly disheartened. "Of course you have a girlfriend who's young and pretty." Keith wonders what Bree was about to ask him, but she waves it off and heads down the street to where Renee is directing movers. "Let the stud hunt begin," she announces in that stoic Bree way of hers. Renee grins.

Commercials.

Gaby holds a bottle of wine, emotionally gazing at pictures of her and Juanita and breaking my heart all at once. It's amazing how there can be a plot this compelling and one as inane as Susan's all in one show. Bree walks up and beckons Gaby to come on, and Gaby distractedly follows her. Turns out that they're at poker, and Beth is in the middle of telling a strange story about her mom's revolving door of boyfriends while she grew up. "As soon as I'd learn their names, Mama would kick them out and there'd be a new toothbrush in the bathroom." Nice.

"So, Beth" says Gaby, "how did you and Paul meet anyway?" Prepare to board the crazy train. Beth says that she saw Paul's picture in the paper during the trial and his eyes spoke to her. Although the fact that he was a murderer gave her pause, she got to know him and realized the man he really was. "Hey, you can't help who you fall in love with, right?" she says. "Paul's a real lady killer." Heh. Beth goes on to say that she always knew that Paul was innocent. The ladies can't let this one lie; they give each other looks so pointed that even Beth picks up on it.

That night, Lynette is cooking dinner when Tom comes into the kitchen and starts pulling out all of the junk food they own. He's also wearing earphones and has sunglasses perched on his head. He mentions that he's preparing to take his medicine, claiming that increased appetite is a possible side effect. "I've never smoked pot before, so I wanna be prepared," he says. He's also planning to listen to Pink Floyd while he's high. It will surprise no one that Lynette doesn't think that Tom is taking this very seriously; in fact, she thinks he's living out some college fantasy. "The only reason I didn't smoke back then was because I signed the abstinence pledge with my Dungeons and Dragons club," he says. Was that a subset of the frat he was in?

Lynette has no words, simply turning back to the stove, but Tom decides to press his luck by asking if she wants to join him out behind the garage. "Come on, you need to take this seriously!" she says. Tom pretends that he is, but Lynette is skeptical. "How is it gonna look to the kids? I don't want them seeing their dad stoned." A valid point. And given Lynette's history with her own mother being high on marijuana, a pretty personal one as well. I honestly don't know how I feel about this plot. Tom's acting pretty casual for someone who kind of freaked out when his own wife was given marijuana for a (albeit unknowing) medicinal purpose. This seemed like something they were on the same page about back in season four.

Anyway, Tom says that the kids won't see him--that's what the sunglasses are for. Gathering his food, he leaves the room. Too bad for him, he forgot his meds and Lynette is his wife. It takes about five seconds for her to decide to dump the weed and swap it with oregano.

Meanwhile it's laundry night at the Delfinos'. They're in some communal laundry room discussing their anniversary, which is apparently that Saturday. Wow, the summer just flew by here on the Lane. Susan wants to go to someplace called Chez Naomi that Mike thinks is out of their price range. She says that they deserve a night out for working so hard, so he agrees, kisses her, and leaves her to her woman's work.

"So, Chez Naomi, huh?" says a redheaded woman who is also doing her laundry. "Expensive place." Awkwardly, Susan agrees and then introduces herself. Turns out that the redhead is Stacy Strauss. Surprise! Susan makes some awkward small talk about how they both work for Maxine, but Stacy isn't there for pleasantries. She gets all up in Susan's grill about Susan stealing one of her moves (putting a feather duster in her mouth). Susan has no knowledge of this, saying that she doesn't watch the other girls perform. I wish I didn't have to watch you perform, Susan. Wow, I suddenly had the strongest wish that Karl was still alive to throw this in Susan's face; you know he would be the perfect character to discover this double life. Too bad you killed him off for no reason, show.

With no inkling of how much better all of this would be if Karl was involved, Stacy pissily tells Susan to keep her duster out of her mouth and to watch her back. Then she stomps out of the room.

Back at the Scavos', Lynette is sorting stuff into a box when Tom enters the room. It's clear from the way he's walking and the stupid look on his face that he believes he's stoned, poor sap. For a second, though, Lynette seems to fear that he's about to accuse her of something; imagine her surprise when Tom declares that he's wasted. "Really?" asks Lynette as Tom sits down. "I am Lucy in the sky high," he jokes, and Lynette proceeds to wave her hand in his face, asking if it's an intense action. The cross-eyed, glassy look on Tom's face is all worth it. "And don't forget, tomorrow we have to trombone 3D banana patch," she babbles. Tom: "Man, this is some really strong stuff." Lynette: "Snow shovel." Tom: "Exactly." HAHAHA!

Tom holds out his hand for Lynette and starts to get starry eyed about the baby. "You know, I was just upstairs watching Paige sleep," he says (and upon learning the baby's name I cheered so loudly I almost missed the next part), "with her little fingers and her little toes. I must have watched her for like an hour. She is just so perfect. And I am so lucky. I couldn't feel happier than I do right now." At this point, Lynette is honestly moved, coming over and leaning down to kiss the top of Tom's head. "I'm just so happy it's working," she says, and she leaves Tom to his imagined high.

Gaby and Susan are shopping at some boutique I'm sure Susan can't afford. Gaby actually points this out when Susan asks for her opinion on a dress, but Susan says that things have been turning around. "I've been selling a lot of my jewelry." Gaby: "Get out!" HA! Susan continues to pretend that she could have afforded this stuff even in her heyday and rushes off to the dressing room.

Cue a little girl coming up and calling Gaby "mommy." Turns out that she has the wrong woman in a sexy red dress, but it's okay since her real mom runs up a second later. At first, Gaby simply brushes it off, but when the mother and daughter turn to leave, she stops them to ask how old the girl is. She's eight, of course, and the revelation spirals Gaby into a desperate quest for information (like when the girl's birthday is and where she was born). Understandably, the mother hurries away from this seeming craziness, leaving Gaby to stare after them with tears in her eyes. Suddenly she notices every little girl that's there; she's seeing them with new eyes, wondering if any of them might be her daughter.

Cut to Gaby at home that night. She's sitting at the table talking. "Standing there in the mall it just hit me," she explains. "I can't spend the rest of my life wondering if every little girl I see is my daughter. Not knowing where she is is like my heart living outside of my body. I have to find her." It turns out that she's talking to Bob, who says that he'll try to find the family if he can, although Sanchez is a fairly common name. Gaby says that she knows more than the hospital did, as she was talking to the other woman the day Juanita was born. She tells Bob where the woman used to live, as well as the name of the church where she planned to baptize her daughter. "That's gonna help," says Bob. Then he asks if Carlos is on board with the plan. "Absolutely," Gaby lies. Damn.

Commercials.

Maxine is on the phone ordering steak when Susan pops in to pick up her money. Man, how often does she get paid? Maxine directs Susan to the money--in her private viewing room--and orders her not to listen in on the conversation, as she's ordering the girls steaks for Christmas. Uh, okay. With a smile, Susan heads into the room and grabs her envelope only to be distracted by Stacy's online performance. To no one's surprise or interest, Stacy has stolen Susan's vacuum sucks off the apron bit, and Susan's ire is raised. She calls for Maxine, whining about the thievery, but Maxine really couldn't care less. Then Susan notices the keys for the apartments hanging on the wall and steals Stacy's.

That night, Renee shows up at Bree's, ready to party in a low cut, strapless dress. In a completely lovable move, Bree is dressed in a cardigan that's buttoned up to her neck. "You look like you're ready to tour the Reagan library," jokes Renee, and I wish Bree would invite her in to see the framed picture of Reagan she has. "This is a cocktail cardigan!" says Bree excitedly. "Look closely: the buttons are shiny!" I really love Bree right now. Renee demands to see Bree's closet.

Renee is no more impressed with Bree's closet, claiming it to be a portal to the 1950s. Kind of cutely, Bree claims that there's nothing wrong with her clothes, but Renee insists that she has to dress the part for a nightclub. Finally, Bree pulls out a pretty little black dress that Renee claims is acceptable, and goes to change.

Later, the girls sit at a bar and Renee groans that the place is dead. Bree is surprised, given the number of people there dancing, but Renee thinks that everyone must have hooked up early so they could be home in time for Nightline. Ha. Hilariously, Bree actually starts to talk about how interesting that night's episode sounded, only for Renee to interrupt her to point out a potential hottie. It should come as no surprise that it's Keith, who is sitting at the other end of the bar. Bree admits that she knows him, and then, despite her protests that Keith has a girlfriend, Renee wiggles her way down there to show him a good time.

Alone, Bree gives this funny, childish laugh that actually attracts the bartender's attention. He asks what's up and Bree tells him that her friend is about to make a fool of herself. Too bad for Bree, the bartender actually knows Keith, and he informs her that earlier that day Keith's girlfriend dumped him. Bree flees to the bathroom, and a lightbulb goes off over her head.

Cue Mrs. Van de Kamp coming back to the club with her dress on backward, this way the plunging back is now going way down her front. All I want to know is how they got Marcia Cross' boobs like that. I mean, they are out in full glory and somehow seem to be defying gravity. I can only imagine that there's a lot of tape involved. The more I stare at them, the more unnatural they look. It's beginning to freak me out, and I almost want to go back to the comforting embrace of her sweater sets. Let's move on with this, shall we?

Bree's boobs run smack into Keith as she comes down the stairs into the club. He makes some small talk with her, and then says he has to run because he has an early day. Proud of herself, Bree sashays over to Renee (who wholeheartedly approves of the boobs), who mentions that she's going home with Keith. "Do you think I should play the 'I hate going into a dark house alone' card," she asks, "or the more blatant, 'I'm not wearing underwear'? 'Cause I'm not." HA! Bree tries to warn her that Keith is fragile because he just broke up with his girlfriend, but Renee doesn't really care. As she heads out, Bree turns and nearly begs her not to go home with Keith. "Why? Oh, he's the one you like, isn't he?" asks Renee, dead on. Bree, bring Bree (even with her boobs), can't admit this, and tries to claim that she just doesn't want Renee to be labeled a slut. Raise your hand if you think Renee gives a damn. Yeah, that's right. She hustles on out of there, leaving Bree to hug her clutch to her bosom.

Commercials.

The show returns with an excellent shot of Bree's legs, crossed, as the camera slowly pans up her body. She's standing back on the Lane with a putter in hand, staring down the street at Renee's house. Her hair is down now, and even without the flip, she has a look on her face that is classically reminiscent of the Bree who once threw pee on her husband and shot a rifle at her ex-boyfriend's car. God, I miss that Bree. She pulls out her cell phone and calls Keith, asking him to come over to help her with a problem at the house. After he agrees, and she hangs up, she proceeds to whack off the heads of her sprinklers so the water shoots out.

Later, Keith inspects the problem, wondering who would do something like this. Bree shrugs it off: "Far be it from me to understand the minds of hooligans." HA! Then she pretends that she's sorry to have interrupted his evening. Keith says he wasn't up to anything special (Bree is thrilled by this news), and that seems to give her the courage to ask Keith over for dinner on Thursday. Even though she tries to pretend it's not a date, Keith knows what's up and doesn't have a problem with it.

The next day, Susan breaks into Stacy's house. Armed with a screwdriver, she finds Stacy's vacuum cleaner and goes to work.

Back on the Lane, Beth is watering her garden when she noticed Mrs. McCluskey heading on down the street. Beth shouts hello, and then she proceeds to hike up her skirt so she can climb over the fence and rush across the street. Hehehe. Beth is already so much more amusing than Susan. "I was hoping I might see you at the girls' poker game," explains Beth, somewhat strangely. Karen says she hasn't been allowed back since they caught her cheating, but Beth doesn't particularly care. Mostly she wants to know why the girls don't like Paul. At first, Karen pretends not to know, but when Beth insists, Karen explains that they think he's a murderer.

Understandably, Beth doesn't get why the neighborhood doesn't believe him now that Felicia has been found and he's been cleared. Karen explains the Martha Huber murder, saying that "Felicia may be a few fingers short of a high five, but if she's crazy, we all are." HA! I guess you all are then, because Felicia, right or wrong, is a complete lunatic.

Back at the apartments, Susan turns on Stacy's feed and sits down with a bag of popcorn. As Stacy goes to suck off her apron, the vacuum backfires and begins to spew dust all over Stacy. Susan laughs maniacally, and then turns on her own camera. As she starts to flirt with the camera, Stacy suddenly bursts in and accuses Susan of messing with her vacuum. The two of them start to get into a verbal sparring match, and then Stacy shoves Susan. The two of them get into a wrestling match, which doesn't go unnoticed by Maxine, who eventually comes into Susan's apartment to tell the girls to make sure to wrestle on screen. Because they are twelve, the girls start bitching to Maxine and then, honest to God, Maxine sends Stacy to her room. Uh, yeah. Okay then. No more words. Maxine asks if Susan is okay and then leaves.

Thankfully, we're back to Bree, who is watering her flowers when Renee comes up to bitch about Bree stealing Keith away from her bed. She doesn't buy the sprinkler destroying hooligan story. "Nobody steals a man out of my bed," snaps Renee. Then she says that she needs a hobby, and her new one will be destroying Bree. Hey, Renee may be a crazy bitch, but Bree is armed. I say bring it on.

Commercials.

Because tonight is the Susan show, we're back in the community laundry room when we get back. Stacy huffs in and says that Maxine ordered her to apologize, so here she is. Oh, whatever. Like this wasn't 90% Susan's fault. And isn't Maxine pissed that Susan stole her key? Why does this show expect me to believe that Susan craps sunshine out of her ass? I'm so sick of it. Susan isn't too impressed with Stacy's apology, so Stacy confesses that she shouldn't have stolen Susan's bit, she just freaked out when she didn't get the bonus check. She explains that she's been trying to get back home to Virginia, but it's hard to save up the money. Blah, blah, blah, Susan can relate; Stacy likes to splurge, which doesn't help her situation; by the end of the year, Stacy and Susan plan to be gone. Oh, and Stacy's been doing this six years, which depresses Susan.

Later, Susan returns with an empty laundry basket and tells Mike that she just wants to stay home and order Chinese for their anniversary. Mike the man's man Delfino is perfectly fine with this. And scene.

Over at Paul's, Beth serves him a sandwich, mentioning what a lovely time she had at the poker game. This serves as the perfect segue to say that the neighborhood thinks that Paul killed Martha. "I'm not a murderer, you know," says Paul, so convincingly that I wonder if he's tricked himself into believing it. Beth says that she knows, but that even if he was, she'd still be on his side. After all, she fell for him when she thought he was a murderer. Crazy.

Carlos sits on his steps in a suit when Tom wanders up. The fact that Tom isn't dressed for work makes me wonder if Carlos even bothers to make him show up anymore. Tom asks if Carlos is okay (because it's very obvious he's not), and Carlos says that it's been an intense couple of weeks. To say the least. Fortunately, Tom has the perfect solution. Oh jeez.

Cut to the boys hiding out in Carlos' garage with Tom's "medication." "Now, I gotta warn you," says Tom. "This stuff is chronic. I got totally baked off of it this morning." Chuckling, Carlos says that he never had Tom pegged as a stoner, and as the two of them sample Tom's stash, it's obvious that Carlos must have been "cooler" than Tom in college. "Tom," he says. "I hate to break this to you, but this isn't pot." Tom: "Tell me that in five minutes when we are soaring past the rings of Saturn." Hahahaha. Oh Tom. Carlos insists that it's oregano, but Tom says that he bought it at a legitimate supplier. "Then somebody must have switched it on you," says Carlos. For a second, Tom actually wonders who would do that before the truth dawns oh so clearly.

In their bathroom, Lynette shuts the medicine cabinet and actually jumps when she sees Tom standing behind her. "I know what you did," accuses Tom, but Lynette, bless her, plays innocent. "Whatever do you mean?" she asks, cocking her head a little seductively. Haha! Tom holds out his medicine, and Lynette shrugs. "Oh! Yeah, that was me." HA! Amazing. She walks past him into the bedroom, and Tom follows; he is fit to be tied. Lynette, on the other hand, thinks that it's a little funny that he thought he was getting high off of a pizza topping.

"My sense of betrayal is huge at this moment!" shouts Tom. I have to say, Tom doesn't get really pissed very often, but this is one of those times. Lynette seems to have no problem with it though, just joking, "Well why don't you snort some baking powder? You'll feel better." Tom: "I'm glad you're enjoying this. I'm glad you enjoy making a fool of me." Dejected, he flops down on the bed as Lynette actually seems to feel a twinge of guilt. "That was not my intention," she says, sitting down behind him. "I only threw out the pot because I didn't think you needed it." Tom whips around, but before he can protest, Lynette continues, "And you know, I was right! You got happy all on your own." Hilariously, Tom tells her not to justify her actions by pretending that it was a master plan. He should be glad that it wasn't a master plan; usually Lynette's go terribly, terribly wrong.

"For some reason, when you were high on oregano, you made a decision to live in the moment," explains Lynette. "You stood over our daughter's crib and you let go of the stress and the fear, and you focused on the good in your life." Tenderly, she leans down and kisses Tom's arm, and adds, "But I am sorry I tricked you."

"You're evil. I should have expected it," says Tom, half-joking. I mean, come on, this is totally Lynette. No one should be surprised by this. Tom stands up and tells Lynette that he's going to look at their beautiful daughter (because apparently all of his depression problems are solved). "Then I gotta turn that bong I made back into a lamp." Lynette smiles after him lovingly.

Commercials.

Gaby is putting on makeup when her phone rings. It's Bob with the news that he's found the other family; he says that he hasn't called them yet; he wanted to make sure that Gaby was certain. He warns her that after they do this, her family will be changed forever. Gaby hesitates, but sounds confident when she tells Bob to call them. She hangs up and glances over at Juanita, who sits on the floor playing with Gaby's hats. I have no words for how adorable she looks. Gaby calls her into the other room and asks if Juanita wants her to do her makeup. So cute. "Look how grown up you are," says Gaby. "Before you know it you're gonna be going to college, have boyfriends, get married." With the love and honesty only a little girl possesses, Juanita declares that she's not getting married. "I don't wanna leave you and Daddy. Ever." Oh my God. Every week so far this season, this show breaks my heart at the end. Why?

"Juanita," asks Gaby quietly, "you know how much I love you?" Juanita grins. "To the moon and back," she says, and that's it. I'm officially crying. Damn you, show! "No matter what happens, I will always love you to the moon and back," says Gaby. God, explain that to this little girl after she finds out that she's not really your kid. This is going to be devastating.

Outside, Carlos is closing his trunk when Bob runs over and says he needs to talk to him and Gaby. "Why?" asks Carlos, as Bob launches into a speech about how the other family freaked out when he told them the news. Carlos is baffled.

Back upstairs, Gaby sits on her dresser, announcing Juanita's runway debut into a hairbrush. A second later, Juanita twists into the room in a cute little green dress pretending to model. Suddenly Carlos appears, and it is clear that he is livid. He tells Gaby that he just spoke to Bob, no further explanation needed. Gaby hops off of the dresser and calmly tells Juanita to go to her room; after she leaves, Carlos shuts the door.

"How could you have done this?" Carlos shouts. He says that they had an agreement, but Gaby says that he rushed her. "Don't you understand what could happen?" he demands. Gaby says that their flesh and blood is out there and she needs to know how she is. Carlos doesn't care. "And what if they want Juanita back?" he snaps. "They could take her from us. They can do that now!" It's obvious that Gaby hasn't even considered that possibility. She shakily says that the other family won't want to give up their daughter, but Carlos yells that they don't know that. "If this ends badly, I will never forgive you. I mean it, Gabrielle. We're done." And Carlos rushes from the room, leaving Gaby alone with the heartbreaking realization that she might have destroyed her whole family.

"Happiness," says Mary Alice as we follow Carlos storming down the street, "it's something everyone searches for." The camera pauses on Susan's car, and she steps out and stares wistfully at her house. "Some are sure they'll find it once they move back home." Over at Bree's, she cooks as Mary Alice says, "Some think they'll find it by making a new friend." Next we go to Renee, standing outside sipping a cocktail. "Some hope to find it once they've defeated the competition." Finally, there's a shot of Tom sitting on his porch with a big smile. The camera pulls back to show Lynette next to him with the baby and Penny, and then a moment later Parker comes outside and sits down next to his dad. "Then there are those who stop searching for happiness because they look up one day to discover it was right there in front of them all the time."

I wish I could grade the storylines in this episode individually. Gaby and Carlos, for instance, would get an A+. This is the most interesting they've been in such a long time, and I love every second of it. Plus it's so refreshing to see Gaby do something besides complain about her children. I'd give the Lynette and Tom part of this a B+. Although I loved their scenes in this episode, I'm tired of them having these big problems that are brushed under the table with little resolution. Honestly, almost every time they give these two something juicy, they never let the actors play the conflict for much longer than an episode. For instance, the fact that they've never mentioned what happened with Eddie, or that the miscarriage was only spoken of twice after it happened. Or even the beginning of last year, when Lynette was questioning if she should even have the kids. And those are only things from recent history. For once I'd like to see them talk out a problem and actually solve it, instead of just pretending that everything is okay. It's never going to happen, though.

I'd give the Bree/Renee portion of this episode an A-. They had some great lines and I genuinely enjoyed Bree in this episode. She had a spark that's been missing for quite some time. I'd give the same grade to the scenes with Beth because she's so delightfully quirky. But the most I can give Susan is a C. Her plot was boring and aggravating; I'm tired of it. And since Susan was a majority of the episode, it really has to carry more weight than the other plots. So I'd say that the most I can give this overall is a B-. Hopefully next week will be lighter on the Susan or even a different Susan plot; I'd take either at this point. Here's hoping.